Summer is Here! And so are Summer Classes!

Pre-school just ended this week, and summer has just begun. Apparently, my daughter has 3.5 months of summer break to enjoy before she resumes her regular classes.

Fortunately, so many people are offering a broad variety of summer classes. That’s why, I’m swamped with deciding which activity I am to enroll her. Yipee!!!

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While money is no object (since many of the classes are affordable anyway), I have to be more selective on which class to enroll her since I don’t want to tire her unnecessarily.

I still do want her to enjoy summer as she’s only 3 years old. 🙂

Just in case you’re wondering, my decisions are based on five important factors, as follows:

  1. Schedule for more convenient Logistics – The classes must fit each other.  I don’t want her classes to be all over the place.
  2. Location – It still has to be graphically desirable.
  3. Enrolling her must make sense on the type of person I want her to be – Sorry, but I don’t think I’d want her to be a ballerina, so ballet classes while cute, is a no go.
  4. Talent – She must have a natural affinity for it. My daughter cannot draw and doesn’t seem to be interested in coloring so no art classes for her.
  5. Reviews and Referrals – Which is why I picked two of her classes, CMA and The Reading Station. Both programs come highly recommended by my peers.

To be honest, her learning how to cook or to dance may be cute, but we don’t really think it’s that important at this time.

We can teach her how to cook and bake at home (or at least, wait until she’s a little bit older to appreciate it), and from what I heard, dancing classes at such a young age may not be optimal as other older kids may overshadow her.

In the end, I’ve enrolled her in the following classes, and I’m very happy with my choices. Here they are for your reference:

1. Swimming Classes: Aqualogic Swim Co.

My class of choice is from Aqualogic Swim Co.

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Swimming is a very important life skill, and I think it’s important for a child to get over their fear of water at a young age. Aqualogic has a lot of venues available, and their Richmonde Hotel Ortigas class is set in an indoor heated pool (I like!).

Rates are also reasonable given how important swimming is as a skill to learn:

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We are enrolling our daughter twice a week for the entire summer. It’s easy to enroll them. Simply text their numbers and they’re quite responsive.

To contact them:

Aqualogic Swim Co.
Tel: 0917-858 2782, 0917-703-6386, 02-703-6386

2. Math: CMA Mental Arithmetic

I wanted to enroll her at CMA ever since we conceived our child, but was forced to wait until she was 3 years old before we could enroll her.

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This is the class that excited us the most. Why?

Watch and be impressed:

Here’s her assignment for Class 1 — Pairing builds up familiarization to the Chinese Abacus. Even my husband wants to learn how.

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After seeing the kids compete in a CMA Competition in SMX, we were sold. We’ve been wanting to enroll her ever since. Can’t believe she’s starting now. 🙂

The rates are also reasonable for me:

Php 4,200 for 8 sessions + Php 2,500 for materials = Php 6,700.00 per month
Makeup classes: 2 classes

To inquire:

CMA Mental Arithmetic
East of Galleria Building, Topaz Road, Ortigas Center, Pasig City
Tel: +63 2 584 9670, +63 917 568 6875
https://www.cma.ph/

3. Reading: The Reading Station

Self explanatory. I believe that books open up a lot of world for kids and so far, I’ve heard a lot of good reviews about The Reading Station. There are a lot of branches available, and I booked the branch that is closest to my husband’s place of work:

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Taken from the website, here are the program details:

The Phono-Graphics Reading Program (COURSE LENGTH: 2 1/2 years to 3 years)

COURSE DESCRIPTION

The Phono-Graphics Reading Program also known as the PGRP is a course for Early Reading Literacy. With practice, training and discipline, goals are achieved.

The program is designed for non readers and emergent readers ages 3 1/2 to 7 years old.

Kids who are found to be more than 7 years old but with reading skills covered still in the program are accepted in the center.

Special emphasis is given to decoding, encoding, comprehension and early love for reading.

COURSE GOALS

  • Early Reading (Decoding)
  • Spelling (Encoding)
  • Comprehension Skills
  • Vocabulary Build up
  • Sentence Construction
  • Language Skills
  • Basic Paragraph Writing
  • Reading Discipline
  • Very Early Love for Reading

Rates are a little bit higher but let’s try before we complain — Php 18,000 for 36 hours or 3 months program, at one hour per class.

To inquire, book for an assessment at the branch closest to you:

The Reading Station – Philippines
MAIN BRANCH
Unit C, 109 Scout De Guia, Brgy.,
Sacred Heart, Quezon City, Philippines
Tel: +63 917 100 5252  •  +63 2 358 3337
Branches:  http://www.trs.ph/branches.html
Website: http://www.trs.ph/index.html#about

4. Conversational Mandarin: Bless Learning Resources

This is the first time for me to try Bless Learning Resources but their summer program looks very interesting.

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I talked to Teacher Eliza today, and was interested in their conversational Mandarin class. Ideally held 3x a week for the summer period for one hour per class, their conversational Mandarin focuses on words that are regularly used daily like:

How are you?”

What’s your name?”

How much is it?”

It’s a great complement to her now Chinese classes at her preschool.

To inquire:
Bless Learning Resources
Address:
219-6 Biak na Bato corner Makaturing St. Brgy Manresa Quezon City
Tel: 560-4519, 0943-858-3211
Look for Eliza

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I’ve stopped at enrolling my daughter at four since just these alone will give her a busy schedule with two varied classes per day. Here’s her schedule:

  • Swimming: 2x a week, 1 hour per class
  • CMA Math: 2x a week, 1 hour per class
  • The Reading Station: 3x a week, 1 hour per class
  • Conversational Mandarin: 3x a week, 1 hour per class

Overall, I’m happy with her choices. I know it looks like a lot, but it’s over a space of 6 days so it’s quite loose.

I will revisit this post after daughter finishes her programs to give you an unbiased review on how good these programs really are.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Mother’s Advice: Do NOT make your kids your world

I am a first time mom. 

Being a first time mom, I can see how easy it is to trap ourselves in being our children’s everything.

Even as a newborn, our kids are treated as kings and queens in our households.

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We anxiously cater to our child’s every need.

I remember carrying my daughter and breastfeeding her while I’m at work because she simply refused to be bottle fed. My mom had to buy different brands of bottles to no avail, since my daughter stubbornly insisted that it was either my breast or nothing.

My Friend’s Story: Why She Felt Inadequate as a Mother

Why can’t anyone sympathize with me?” my friend wailed. “Can’t they see my frustration in trying to do everything for my child?”

At that time, my friend said she had post-partum depression, stemming from the fact that my friend felt that she was an inadequate mother. The core reason was, she couldn’t produce any milk after she gave birth. This was a disappointment for her since she hoped that her child would be breastfed after hearing from many fellow mothers that breast was best.

Unfortunately, the child was not cooperative and refused to eat. So, she felt bad that despite her best intentions, as a mother, she couldn’t even feed her own child.

A lot of her problems stems from the fact that she was putting a lot of pressure on herself. 

All children are different.

Everyone develops and acts differently, and most of the time, many are uncooperative to what we believe they should act, feel or do.

Our fault as a mother lies in the fact that we put too much pressure on ourselves to act a certain way for the good of our child.

The child should eat pureed vegetables once she hits 6 months old!

Well, what if she doesn’t want to eat veggies?

My child should be breastfed!

Well, what if you don’t have any milk? Your child is getting thinner and she needs her sustenance.

They should be walking once they hit 1 years old!

What if they still can’t walk by that time? Would you rush her to a development pedia just to see what’s wrong with her?

Why is my child biting other kids? What’s wrong with me?

Well what if they still can’t control their feelings and this is how they show their frustration when other kids take their toys?

Why is my child not excelling in school?

Many kids are raised differently. The one kid that excels may be tutored every day. It’s not your kid’s fault if he/she is not outstanding this year. There are other years to consider.

We have to stop being anxious and start going with the flow.

Mommies, aren’t our LOVE enough?

Why do we pin our hopes and dreams on our children, and punish ourselves unnecessarily when our kids do not live up to our expectations?

Why do we blame ourselves first when things don’t go our way?

Why do we get sour and get mad at our husband for things beyond his control? Can we please stop telling them to be a parent as if we are the expert in being parents?

We are our kids’ mothers.

We love our kids.

When we love our kids, we should trust ourselves in doing the correct things for them already. When love is present, how can we go wrong?

However, when we stress about our childrearing skills, we create an environment of anxiousness and hostility. We take this out on the people around us, even though they’re not really the core of the problem. Then we feel guilty when we become bitches as a mom, as if we do not control the matter.

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We were at Universal Studios Singapore the other day. I brought along our 3 year old with us, and we totally had a blast.

Sure, there were some rides that she couldn’t ride on. The Mummy had a height requirement so my daughter was forced to spend the hour with her grandmother.

When my brother and I took the ride and lined up for 70 minutes, we had a grand time bonding together, and I didn’t worry about my daughter, whom I knew was in good hands.

I was present with my brother when we were falling in line.

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I enjoyed the attraction even though my daughter was not with me.

And when I came out of the ride, I saw that my mom was feeding my daughter some coconut and my three year old was playing, not knowing that she was abandoned for an hour while her mom was riding the roller coaster.

Did I have a blast? YES.

Did I feel guilty? NOT REALLY.

Did my daughter pout because I abandoned her? NO, She was having a blast on her own with her grandmother.

Did anyone care because I was riding while I was leaving my kid with someone else? NOPE.

Was the kid alive when I got back. Yes, definitely.

So I think Mommies can take it a bit easy. Trust that you’re being the best mom there is and let yourself go a little bit.

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Sure, kids and motherhood can be very stressful.

It’s a new experience and nobody’s ever given us a handbook on how to raise good behaved kids.

We may feel abandoned and alone when we’re going through the process.

We may feel that nobody understands us and everything we do is merely for the sake of our kids.

But before we give our all to our kids, give ourselves some slack first.

Breathe, relax, and re-energize ourselves.

Especially as mother’s give everything to our families, it’s crucial that we also regulate ourselves that we do not deplete our sense of selves, because we’ve been so busy giving our everything to other people.

We should stop laying our expectations to our poor kids and husbands, and just focus on enjoying the process of motherhood, because it’s always so darn short.

We should stop thinking as other people as the enemy, and see them as our partners in taking care of our children. As I’ve said before, it takes a village to raise a child.

So here you go mommy. Here’s my kid to babysit and enjoy. Take her out, buy her toys, and spoil her to death.

I know that others love her and my child will be safe in their care.

I will not be swapang with my own child and keep her as my own.

Instead, while other people are taking care of her and ensuring that she is okay, I will enjoy my time, manage my business, enjoy my life, and still be a good mother to my child when I come home.

Motherhood is difficult as it is. So please, let us cut ourselves more slack.

As long as the baby don’t die, don’t worry. She’s in good hands so long as other people will take care of her.

We support you and love you.

Now leave the child with us and enjoy the ride. 🙂

Your child will thank you for it once you’re back and recharged.

Have a good week everyone!

Why I let my Mother Spoil my Daughter

My mother is in her 70s, and boasts of only two grandchildren — one by me, and the other is my brother’s 5 month old daughter.

Much to her annoyance, we married quite late, and while all her siblings has had numerous apos, many of which were sons, she’s just stuck with two.

However, despite not having that many grandkids, my mother showers my daughter with much unconditional love, toys and gifts.

After my daughter was born, my mom who lived elsewhere, would make a trek to my house at least twice a week to gawk and stare at my daughter. When daughter was older, she became more demanding, and the gifts from her loving grandmother kept on coming.

Mothers who believe in the Montessori method will shake their heads in disbelief. My house is full of my daughter’s toys, all bought by my mother for my daughter. She buys from 168 so it’s not that expensive, but since my mom buys ALL THE TIME, it all adds up.

The Marie Kondo method does not work on us, as everything for my daughter sparks joy.

Just last week for example, my mom took my daughter to Toy Kingdom.

After scouring the shelves and playing with the toys for free, my daughter managed to sucker her grandmother in buying the following:

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It’s only Php 1,200 a set,” my mom claimed. “Cheaper than 168!”

The problem was not that it was cheaper, or whether it was affordable for her. The issue was that I already have two kitchen sets at home — one wooden, and the other one plastic.

But this has a different design!” the insistent grandmother exclaimed. “A small price for happiness!”

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I let my mom buy my daughter a toy. This is them with their haul:

I only have one important reason in letting my mom buy this toy for my daughter —

My mom is happy to be a good grandmother to my daughter. Buying for my kid SPARKS JOY to my mom.

My mom is now 70+ years old.

Through the many years, she and my dad worked hard, made sacrifices, and held back on their purchases to ensure that my brother and I have a bright future.

The first time she bought something for herself was 6 years ago, when she asked me whether she should buy sports shoes as she never had a pair. It broke my heart to see my mom never having to buy anything for herself, as she has showered us kids with what should have been hers.

My daughter is just three. She will live longer than my mother.

Hence, my mom only has a few decades to live vs. my daughter. If my mom passes away earlier, my daughter will only have remnants on what type of grandmother she had. If that is the case, one of the best gifts I can give my daughter is that she is unconditionally loved by her grandmother.

My mom has a few years to spoil my child.

Twice a week visits will NOT spoil her as my child lives in our stricter household.

But I do not want to deprive my mom from the joys of grandparenthood. 

At the end of the day, our children is ours. My mom is merely borrowing my daughter for a few hours and together, they make each other feel good.

I let her spoil my child now and then. That’s one of the best things of being a grandkid, and a grandmother. It will NOT kill me to let them have their fun.

Here is my mom and my daughter with their haul, walking hand in hand, happily back to the carpark:

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I will not be annoyed because she spoiled my child for Php 1,200. It’s just money. And I don’t want to be the killjoy to them both by muttering and complaining to her that she’s spoiling my child.

Instead, I will bask at these photos, seeing them walk hand in hand, knowing that my mom loves my daughter, and my daughter loves her back:

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It’s heartwarming and well within my control to give. And this is why I let my mom spoil my child, and let my child sucker my mom.

It won’t be forever, and it’s best to leave your kid with fond loving memories of the grandmother who loves her to death. Because that’s one best gift we can give to our children — the love of the grandparents.

Have a great week ahead!

Highly Recommended: Euphemia Creatives Children Photographers

Last Sunday, I was lucky enough to book at slot with child photographers, Euphemia Creatives.

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Boasting less than 1,000 Instagram followers to date, Euphemia Creatives is one of those underrated suppliers who is still relatively unknown, but is so talented that you cannot help but gush about to anyone who would listen (even though it’s so tempting to just keep quiet and keep them to yourselves).

However, I was so impressed by their output that I think it’s but fair to share the love and joy.

The couple is unassuming and humble.

When we met at the UP Diliman, I was relatively unimpressed by the scenery: UP Diliman is not the cleanliest of venues, but it was free, and at the right hands, is a beautiful backdrop for photos.

We met last Sunday, February 17, at 3:00 pm at the UP Stone Markers.

Check out the scenery as we were making our way to the photo site:

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Sir Jommy and Ma’m Mowina are a young couple that make up Euphemia Creatives.

I found them to be very low-key, chillax, and uber nice photographers.

Unassuming, is the best word to describe the couple.

Check out the photos of our shoot just to see how relaxing the entire experience was:

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Ma’m Mowina was there to talk to my daughter, give directions and hold the reflector.

IMG_9699 IMG_9695Sir Jommy was there just snappin’ away like a boss.
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To be honest, given how chill everything was, I had doubts on the type of output the team would create. Given the location and the fact that my daughter was NOT a professional model, I had low expectations on the type of photos we would get that afternoon.

However, that’s where you just have to trust your suppliers.

There is a reason you booked them in the first place. So even with my doubts, I let them do their stuff. Sure, I hung back and tried to help, but it was magical to see how they handled my daughter and made her cooperate.

I think one important factor is the care and respect Sir Jommy and Ma’m Mowina treats their clients — the kids they are actually taking photos of.

Sir Jommy was so nice and talked to my daughter like an adult. They gently encouraged her to pose, while remaining true to herself.  Here is the Euphemia Creatives team showing my daughter how pretty she is on camera:

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I was sincerely touched.

Many photographers think of the kids as a job and source of income. Many photographers would not talk the way Sir Jommie did to our daughter.

Our session was an hour, with a maximum of three outfits. Thankfully, the weather cooperated, and while hot, it was still bearable. Surprisingly, we kept to the time and we were finished by around 4:15pm.

The Euphemia Creatives team promised us the photos by that evening. To our surprise, they uploaded the link to Google Photos, and we were BLOWN AWAY by the quality of their work.

As I’ve said, here were the photos that I took on the day itself. I show this to you to highlight what a mommy photo would look like vs. how a pro would do it:

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These were their raw and unedited photos:

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I would just let the results speak for themselves.

Across the board, just by looking at the raw and unedited photos, we knew we discovered an absolute treasure. Sir Jommy’s hit ratio was high: Every photo was beautifully taken, and captured the fun and naughty essence of my daughter.

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Sir Jommy’s talent is undoubted, and we are so so so pleased with the result. Hence, which is why, I’m making this special review to sing their praises.

Honestly, it was so difficult to choose just 20 out of the 487 raw photos they asked us to choose from. Out of the 487 photos, I had to slim it down to a difficult 150 photos. And from them, I had to pick 20 photos for final edit!

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I will be sending the 20 photos I picked today to Euphemia Creatives for final editing. I cannot wait to see the final result in 2 weeks time.

Just for your reference, here are some of their finished works:

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To the Euphemia Creatives husband and wife team

Thank you so much for honoring our appointment, and for the beautiful photos. I am sincerely touched by your effort, impressed by how you handled my child, and blown away by your talent.

Hopefully, my review will help in bringing you more business. My only simple request is that if and when you become uber popular, please still give us a slot if we book ahead of time. I know that you will be soon to be stars in the child photography industry, and I hope you will never forget your humble roots, and let your work simply speak for itself.

Photo session details:
Venue: UP Stone Marker
Age of Daughter: 3 years old – so can follow directions
Outfits: From Hailey & Co., and The Living Doll PH

To book Euphemia Creatives:

Euphemia Creatives
Tel: 0995-402-3629, 0935-475-1705
Instagram: EuphemiaCreatives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EuphemiaCreatives/

IMPORTANT NOTE: They are parents, and are not slaves to their work. This year, they do not accept regular bookings but provide monthly promos, which include group photo taking sessions in cooperation with LivingDollPh. I think they are well worth the time and effort, and if you can, please find a slot with the power couple. I know you will be as delighted as we are.

 

Mommy Chronicles: How to Raise a Budding Entrepreneur

One dollar! One dollar!” exclaims my daughter as she tries to sell her wares to my staff from the shop set her grandma gave her today.

She must have learned selling from Ryan’s Toy Review. Either that, or one dollar is too cheap a price for legitimate wares.

Another Mommy asked how to teach kids entrepreneurship a few days before.

My father was an entrepreneur.

My mother was an entrepreneur.

And I later grew up to be an entrepreneur as well.

I don’t really remember my parents actively teaching me how to be an entrepreneur.

So how the heck did I turn out to be one?

It’s the Littlest Most Mundane Details

My father used to teach me about entrepreneurship without me knowing it.

We would go to a restaurant, and we would analyze if this restaurant was profitable or not.

“How many staff are there at the store?” he would ask.

There’s ten,” I’d answer. And would proceed to count them one by one.

Good,” he would reply. “If each employee cost php 13,500, how much would the total labor cost be?”

“₱13,500 times ten is php ₱135,000.” The middle school me would answer, pleased that my multiplication tables can now be used.

He continues to ask, “Let’s say rent and overhead which includes electricity is php 60,000, how much is the total cost of running this business?”

“₱135,000 plus ₱60,000 equals php 195,000.” I would answer. This is easier math.

So let’s say cost of doing business is rounded up to php200,000, how many meals do you need to sell to break even?” He asked.

What do you mean?” I asked, now confused.

Okay, how much is the price per meal?” He would then ask.

It’s php 100,” I would answer. “And there’s four of us so that’s php 400 for our table, more or less.”

“Now, if the cost of the food is php 30 per order, that means per meal has php 70 of profit,” he concludes. “If you make php 70 per meal, how many meals do you sell to break even?”

Ahhhhhh…. see the point?

Cost of business is php 200,000. Divide php 200,000 by php 70 profit per meal, how many meals is that?” He asked.

2858 meals!” I excitedly answer.

Now divide 2858 meals by 30 days, how many meals must be sold per day to break even?”

“95 to 96 meals a day, daddy,” I answered.

Or 50 meals per lunch and dinner,” he would say. “Or around 10 to 15 tables per meal hour. Look around you. Is this restaurant full? How many diners are here on a weekday lunch?”

There was only 4 tables dining. Two had two people, one was a sole diner and there was us, 4 on a table — or 7 people in total.

The restaurant isnt making money,” he concluded. “It will close down in a few months unless they change something. Anything.”

How sure are you, daddy?” I asked.

Do the math,” he said. “And you will know.”

Sure enough, the business DID close down.

It was tragic to see.

I am sure that the owners were well intentioned and had high hopes and dreams when they opened the store, but you can’t fight against the tide if the numbers were against you.

And that was how my dad taught me about entrepreneurship.

Not by reading a book or taking a class.

But by analyzing every business that we come in.

Every single day.

My daughter is only 3 and there’s still more to teach her.

Right now, she’s just selling things for one dollar. Tomorrow, hopefully she’ll be selling more at a profit.

Teaching about entrepreneurship is like building the pink towerZ

You talk to her everday about the most mundane things, and build it up, until years later, without her really knowing it, she inevitably becomes an entrepreneur.

Because this was what her parents did.

Because this was something you guys talked about every day.

Because this was her training.

Because this training became her calling.

And that is how you raise an entrepreneur.

One day at a time.

10 Tips in Looking for a Yaya Online

As agencies have increased their fees to now Php 6,000 to Php 18,000 for every successful referral, there is a need to be more self-sufficient in finding yayas on our own.

But I would rather wait to get a referral from someone I know,”  some mommies would say. “At least they can be trusted and not steal.”

Well, many mommies end up NOT having a yaya anymore, and end up taking care of their own kids themselves.

I don’t have that option. I work full time, and I need to take care of our business. I need a yaya, and am willing to do whatever means necessary to get a yaya, including opening myself up online.

Anyway, even the best yaya agencies source their yayas online. So why not if possible save on the fees and search online as well?

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Over the last month, I have interviewed at least 10 serious applicants for the yaya position, hired 3 and browsed through at least 25 applicants. I am no expert, but at the end of this adventure, I have done more interviewing of yayas than I should in a lifetime.

Here are my tips in searching for a Yaya Online.

1. Hire someone who is at between 28 to 60 years old.

If the yaya is too young: If the yaya is only 17, you would need parental consent before allowing her to come and work for you.

If she is between 18 to 21, she is only coming to you for experience and really isn’t serious about working. My sister in law’s yaya is 18, and spends a lot of her evenings talking to her partner, making her always exhausted when working the next day.

Her last newborn yaya who was still looking for love got pregnant by the houseboy. The baby is expected to come out mid this year. Maricel only stayed for 1.5 months, got pregnant, and is not at home resting as she doesn’t want to work anymore.

If the yaya is too old: They tend to be slow, forgetful and sometimes stubborn. You have to be patient and repeat your instructions in a very clear manner. If they are wrong, you can’t shout at them, but have to talk to them in a still respectful manner.

Since I am looking for a yaya to my 3-year old daughter, I need someone who can keep up with her. This means that I cannot find a yaya who is too young (who will only look at the cellphone) or too old (who cannot run around with her).

It’s the Goldilocks principle. For yayas, you cannot get them too young, or too old. They have to be just the right age.

The right age varies from employer to employer. For me, it’s 28 years old to 55 years old.

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At 28 years old, they have most likely had 1-2 kids from 1-2 different fathers, so they’re less likely to have more children since the realities of taking care of a lot of kids are more real to them.

A yaya in her 30s are already more serious in finding a job for keeps since she has mouths to feed and she understands that her husband’s income is insufficient in providing for her family. She works because she loves her kids. If she doesn’t work, her family would starve.

2. Sorry, just a personal preference, but I want a yaya who is not too pretty or sexy.

This is unacceptable for us — yayas who post sexy photos on Facebook.

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This means that if the yayas post photos of herself showing off her legs, boobs or tattoos, I am no longer interested in them.

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We live in an area where there are a lot of construction workers, traffic enforcers and security guards, all of which try to get in our yaya’s pants whenever possible, despite being married and having kids. That’s just the way it is.

Our previous yaya was fired because she was dating the married traffic enforcer in our area while on duty. I caught her the second time having tryst with the traffic enforcer in a darkened area before firing her.

Stories of the driver or the houseboy dating and impregnating the yayas are too common in their own good.

To make it safe for everyone, I choose yayas who are not that attractive. Just my personal preference, if her photo includes of her in a spaghetti strap, she’s off my list.

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Yes, this applicant was applying to be a yaya in our household. She is way too pretty to be a yaya. 🙂

3. I hire people who are actually unemployed. Meaning, they are not looking of transferring employers while still employed with the others. I don’t hire yayas who are still employed with others. 

I had applicants who applied with me while still being employed with others. Their reason for switching?

  • Higher salary which is understandable.
  • Not liking their current employers because of (insert reason here).
  • Complaining about their current work.
  • The best? “I only stay here because I am merely tolerating my boss. In fact, I have wanted to switch ever since.”
  • Gee… if you are like that to your current boss, then how will you be when you switch? Will you snitch on me too?
  • Among other reasons…

There are cases when the complaints are valid. If you have been in a household for years and are still paid peanuts, YOU SHOULD LEAVE.

But on many cases, the complaints stem from a yaya who is unsatisfied with her lot. It is a red flag for me that this yaya has a tendency to complain despite knowing what she was getting into in the first place.

This is because salary, benefits and work conditions are usually disclosed to the yaya during interview. Before they start, a yaya should ask all questions necessary to ensure that they know what they are getting themselves in. In other words, Pinili mo yan (You chose your fate). Hence, you should barring extreme circumstances, enjoy your lot instead of endlessly complaining about it.

In my personal opinion, I prefer yayas who actually like the situation they bring themselves in. I don’t like yayas who keep on complaining about their situation especially since it was their choice to enter these situations in the first place.

A leopard never really changes her spots.

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If they complain there, they will also complain once they are in my household. And I don’t want the peace in our household be destroyed because of one yaya’s discontent.

In addition, I also don’t choose these women who are still employed with others because of delicadeza. This means that just because I am in desperate need, I would pirate another person’s yaya and cause her misery in looking for a replacement.

There are still many applicants who need jobs out there. Would rather pick someone else than to harm another household because of my own dire need.

4. I hire yayas who are okay with my conditions namely:

  1. Rest days two days (48 hours a month) a month: I do NOT agree if the yaya wants weekly rest days. Nothing wrong with weekly rest days, but having them leave every week is a hassle and a security risk for me. Please note that I pay for the two rest days not taken, which is in accordance with the Kasambahay Law.
  2. No emergency rest days. We follow the schedule of two rest days per month. Anything above that is a no, except if someone died. Before hiring the yaya, I always ask them if they have their family affairs in order. I do not hire anyone who will disappear from work whenever there’s a family emergency because this means they are unreliable. I also like yayas who return on time from their rest days.
  3. No cash advance or bale while under my employ: This is a big one. I have had yayas who backed out after hearing this rule. Bale or cash advance is a big problem in hiring Filipinos. Because they can’t budget their money properly, they always tend to borrow money from their employers, leaving them on a continuous cycle of indebtedness. I tell my yayas I will never lend them money. If someone dies in their family, I will give her family, but save on a death, I will not help out since I pay her a lot of money and on time.
  4. No cellphone on duty hours: Many Filipinos cannot let go of their cellphones or Facebook. My rule indicates that they can only cellphone when my child is asleep. Many don’t like this.
  5. They eat when we eat: We provide three meals and more a day, but I don’t like yayas who are more particular with food than we are.
  6. They are okay with being an all around, which is already disclosed to in the ad. This means, I don’t like yayas who only want to take care of the kid and nothing else. Since I pay 50% more than minimum, I do want the yaya to also care about the general surroundings and do the laundry (via WASHING MACHINE) once the clothes need washing. I put this clause in because I don’t want our yaya to be maarte. 
  7. No to padala pamasahe. With so many scammers in the Philippines, I don’t want to problematize about sending money to applicants who never plan to show up. If they want work, they will always find a way to come to you (I will reimburse the travel expense AFTER they arrive) with complete requirements.

These conditions already filter out many applicants. But since I only need one and they are joining my household, I would rather filter out those who are maarte, mareklamo and have many family issues instead of accepting them and then being disappointed later on.

5. I don’t hire yayas who don’t post their own faces on Facebook.

This is a photo of a Facebook applicant for yaya:

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Lord help me if she really looks like that. She should be an actress, not a yaya.

If the yaya cannot be honest with who she is on social media, she may be hiding something, and I don’t want to consider yayas who don’t reveal anything about themselves.

6. I don’t hire yayas who frequently updates her status and post on Facebook. 

If I check their Facebook page and see that the yaya is always updating on Facebook, I don’t interview her anymore.

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There are yayas who update their status every day, every half a day, with selfies and post about their random thoughts. This means, their phones are always by their side and they are very busy being active on social media.

Since one of my rules is to only use the cellphone during off duty or when the baby is sleeping, I don’t think hiring someone who is always on Facebook will work for us.

7. I also don’t like it when a yaya posts photos of herself and her alaga. Or photos of her in her employer’s house. 

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It’s not her house or her kid. She should not post photos of what isn’t hers on social media. It’s not right, and in the Philippines, can be quite dangerous.

So when I see a yaya applicant posting her photo that features her employer’s house, child, car or belongings, I don’t even consider hiring her anymore.

8. I don’t hire yayas who have a bad record online.

I check out whether she has been blacklisted on other maids groups as a scammer or a maid with a bad record. I check her name out on Bad Maids PH Facebook group to see if she has been previously employed by someone before.

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Checking online of their status have saved many employers a lot of future grief. For example, an agency referred to me a yaya who sounded decent on the phone. She was 4 years old, single, and was well experienced as a yaya.

Later, when checking online, someone gave me the feedback that not only does this yaya suffer from a bad attitude, she also had sexy photos of hers posted online!

These were her actual photos posted on Facebook for everyone to see!

My gosh, makati pala! Even I do not have the gall or strength to post a photo of myself on a swimsuit online, and here in an applicant who is open to showing on what she looks like to everyone who wishes to see.

And to those who are wondering, these are her real photos. Not Photoshopped. The agency said that these were her bikini photos from Boracay. Uhhhh….

Thank goodness for the Interet. If I didn’t ask for feedback, we would have ended up with a yaya who would give us many problems later on.

9. I hire yayas who have an acceptable record of leaving their previous employers properly. 

Many yayas, like mine, leave their employer without proper notice. Many simply go on a rest day and never come back, insisting that they left their employer because of (insert yaya reason here).

It doesn’t matter if the employer was masungit or abusive. What’s important is that the yaya leaves with grace, and with proper notice.

If they left an employer without giving a proper goodbye, they would do the same to me too. And given that I had been a victim of such yaya before, I do not want to have such experience repeated again.

Hence, I listen very closely when asking the question, “Why do you leave your previous employer?”

If they give me an answer that shows they are malabong kausap, then I move on to the next interviewee.

10. I only hire yayas who show WORD OF HONOR. They have to show up on the agreed schedule. They don’t lie on the interview. In short, they do what they say. 

My previous yaya told me that she didn’t even finish high school even though the yaya she was replacing was a college undergrad.

I appreciated the honesty and told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about. She turned out to be a pretty decent yaya for my daughter until she wasn’t.

I like yayas who tell you as it is. No lying, no twisting of the truth, no drama. One yaya told us that her first husband was dead, even though he wasn’t really. That was bad.

Since they are joining our household, we have to choose people who is similar like us. My husband says we like to surround our people who is not malabong kausap (which means we hate people who don’t do what they say).

Hence, we have declined the services of a yaya who keep on moving their starting dateBago pa lang, ganun na. 

This was a yaya who didn’t show up as agreed because she claimed her son was sick. It would have been more believable if she didn’t text me the day before asking me to postpone her start date since her daughter wanted her to get her report card in school.

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I didn’t take her anymore.

Sure, maybe it means having a yaya starting later, but at least, weeding out those who are unreliable will keep us more sane in the long run.

SUMMARY

Yes, it’s very hard to find a yaya in the Philippines. Even at a higher salary, I still experienced difficulty in finding a yaya myself. There is reason for agencies to exist. It’s not just to profit off employers, but to also save employers from the type of stress and frustration I’ve experienced this month.

Many employers have already given up from finding a suitable yaya for them.

The group that asks for referrals now number more than 1000 and yet, so many are left yaya-less. Many mothers choose to give up their jobs because they cannot find suitable help.

Personally, I can’t stand inactivity.

I don’t believe accepting my fate that I should be left yayaless since yaya left us last December. If I cannot find a yaya, I would have to take care of our child, and our business and my staff will suffer. Since we can afford a yaya, we should have one. Hence, not having a yaya is unacceptable for me.

So now, we have one. Zeny started just last Sunday, and she’s still alive as of today.

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I hope she’s finally the yaya I am looking for. If not, we will look for someone else again.

Ahhhhh… that is life.

Anyway, hope my tips will help you find a yaya of your own. Good luck to all of us, and may the right yaya enter our employ.

 

 

When your 3 Year Old gets Stubborn

My daughter refuses to finish her lunch because she wants to open up her new gift, a Cinderella castle made of Lego.

So she’s at the floor moping, whining and refusing to eat her lunch.

It’s dirty on the floor, but she doesn’t care. She wants to play Lego with her daddy, and SHE MUST BE FOLLOWED.

Mind you, she just turned 3 last December.

This is going to be fun.

So, we stick it in: No reward if you don’t listen to Mommy and daddy.

She goes around the living room.

She plays with other toys.

She goes to the kitchen.

Crosses her arms and pouts several times.

We push her to eat.

No banana.

Lord, she is stubborn.

She tries to stall, cry, whine and delay the process.

We stick it out.

Today’s our rest day and we have nowhere to go.

Finally, she eats.

She eats hesitantly, still goes around the dining area, but she eats.

And finishes her corn.

Now Cinderella castle?” she asks me.

Sure, Cinderella castle,” I replied.

It was an old gift given to her by her grandmother. It’s really for her anyway.

She is happy.

Now, she and her dad play the Lego castle this afternoon.

Sigh, since when did 3 year old kids start to reason out like this? When I was a kid, my dad’s rule was law and everyone simply listened and followed.

My 3 year old has her own mind. She wants to be followed. And she sulks when she doesn’t get her way.

Mommy and daddy fight with me,” she would say.

Well, she’s 3.

We make the rules, and kids must follow them. And if they don’t, we won’t lift a single finger and give them what they want.

Looks like it’s working. 😇😍❤️

To more fights and adventures ahead!

When your Daughter becomes a Monster

It’s Mine…. It’s Mine… It’s MIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEE!” screamed my usually lovely 3-year old, who suddenly turned into a Baby Hyde in a matter of seconds.

She was at the floor, writhing and clutching at the big baby bottle filled with marshmallows. I think she didn’t want me to touch the bottle, which she said was hers.

I have never seen anyone treat such item with such possessiveness, and there she was, my daughter, insisting that nobody, not even her loving mommy, should touch her and her big precious baby bottle.

She was never really like this.

Before she hit three, she was always sweet and adorable. She sometimes sulked when she didn’t get her way, but never like this.

As soon as she turned three, she became this:

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When a child’s tantrum unexpectedly hits, a mother is usually caught offguard.

What happened to my sweet, malambing baby, who turned into this terrifying crying mess that don’t want to be touched or bothered? All of a sudden, cheap purchases become priceless, and she’s ready to scream, gnaw and hit anyone who dare touch what she deems is hers.

So what did we do?

We let her cry.

And cry.

And CRY.

We watched her with a neutral expression, made sure that she doesn’t hurt herself and let her scream and cry on the floor.

As long as she was safe, we were fine with her pulling the tantrum.

I slightly felt like a mean and unsupportive parent, but shrugged the mommy guilt away. What can we do? She was being a brat, and unreasonable. And maybe it’s the Terrible Threes (She just turned 3 last December 9) that everyone’s been talking about.

Hooooboy. The crying took at least 30 minutes, and it felt like forever.

But it was fine.

After she got tired, I asked her if she wanted to mammam and she tearingly said yes. As she breastfed, she started to calm down…. and sniffled all the way through.

Half an hour later, she was back to her sweet self again, as if nothing happened. It was just as surprising for us to see her wail and scream and shout, and then cling happily to us with nary a guilt or memory on what happened.

Note to Self: The next time it happens, just keep your cool. Watch with a bemused smile, and make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. Talk calmly and wait for the anger to subside.

My lovely lady tantrumed again a few days later, but it was shorter this time, around 10 minutes. I guess she learned that she may feel angry and express it, but heck if she gets her way.

So tantrum all you want dear girl.

Let it out.

It’s better to show it now when you’re three than later.

At the end of the day, mommy still loves you, and will be there for you after we pick up the pieces.

And no, you still won’t get your way.

We are still her parents after all.

Happy new year!

 

Teaching Resilience Early

Today is the Sunday before Halloween. SM Megamall has a grand Barbie party and it’s packed.

We couldn’t get it so we tried for the next best thing — Trick or Treating!

This was the best we can do provided that she didn’t want to wear her beautiful Anna costume. She would have looked like this if she was more compliant:

But I digress…

I think every mother should join the mall trick-or-treat activity.

For one, not every tenant gave away candy. So it was honestly an amazing lesson of kapal ng mukha (having a thick skin) and resilience.

I encouraged her to go to every single store and ask for trick or treat, even though there was no treats. Personally, I think it’s a great way to teach kids to ask… even when the answer may be no.

So she went into every single store in the area:

We went into stores that had nothing to do with kids or candy.

We even tried asking for candies at BDO.

And no, as per expected, they had no candy. Oh well, it was great to try.

And for most stores, the kid came away sad and dejected.

But for many other stores, there was candy to be had! Hooray!

Who knew that there were candies at Under Armour, but they did!

Trick or treating is similar to life: It’s full of disappointments and rejections. That’s why, it’s a great place to bring your kids to this mall activity.

But hey, if you don’t ask… you don’t get.

So why not ask?

There’s no harm to ask. 🙂

Mall activities like these also teach kids to be patient. Especially when you have to fall in long lines.

Here we are lining up for Toy Kingdom’s trick or treat activity:

Yes, it’s a hassle to fall in line. And sure the child does get bored.

But life is all about waiting for our turn for the rewards that will come next.

It’s not really about Insta-pleasure, but rather, good things come to those who wait.

Halloween is my daughter’s favorite yearly activity. She loves trick or treating even though she gets more tricks than treats.

But it’s also a lovely place to teach some of life’s best lessons such as:

  • That you need to learn in waiting for one’s turn. Don’t be a bully.
  • That good things come to those who wait.
  • That it’s ok when people reject you. Sometimes even before you enter their store.
  • That you still have to ask in an orderly manner, one store after another so you will cover more ground.
  • That if you keep on asking, eventually, someone will give you that break you need.

See? That’s why trick or treating is so much fun!

Till next year!

When you lose a baby via miscarriage

**WARNING: SOME TROUBLING, VERY DISTURBING BLOODY PHOTOS OF MY EXPERIENCE AHEAD***

I miscarried and had my raspa last Wednesday, August 15.

We lost the baby at 11 weeks old.

The heartbeat simply stopped.

We didn’t know until the 14th week when I started spotting. Apparently, our baby was already dead for 3 weeks.

We learned via ultrasound that our baby was dead on Sunday. My OB scheduled a D&C on Friday.

I “popped” on Wednesday late afternoon.

I felt a strong gushing of liquid. My pantyliner was so wet as if I urinated on it.

When I rushed to the bathroom, the panty liner was soaked.

I quickly placed a menstrual pad, but after 2 minutes, that got soaked too. My panty was so wet I couldn’t even wear the menstrual pad properly.

As I sat on the toilet bowl, blood and gunk started flowing from me, first in drips then in spurts.

Within 2 minutes, the bowl was full. Full of blood, and clot.

I flushed the toilet.

After I flushed the toilet, I still continued to bleed. Clots and all. Every time I would wipe, there was flesh blood.

I let the blood flow. I had to wait it out.

It was on this time I saw a grey matter on the bowl.

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It was a fetus, our baby, looking like an alien but with hands and feet perfectly formed.

It lay on top of the bloody toilet paper.

We gingerly collected it on a small white bowl.

Yup, that’s our baby.

At 11 weeks old, it already looks like a baby. Anyone who says they’re not aborting a baby is WRONG.

I felt sad.

But I was not done bleeding yet.

I bled, and bled, and bled.

My husband bought the overnight pads, but they got full quickly too.

I went through the entire pack of overnight menstrual pads and I was still bleeding.

My OB asked me to go to the hospital.

Fortunately, I had some adult diapers at home. As soon as I wore them, the blood flow continued and I felt menstrual cramps and was excreting blood clots.

The nurse said it was my body excepting the thick lining of my uterus.

The body had them to prepare my body for the baby.

Now that the baby is toxic, my body is cleaning itself of all remnants of it.

As soon as I arrived in the hospital, I couldn’t stand.

I felt the heavy diaper and it was overflowing. Blood was dripping down my leg to my slippers.

Fortunately, the guard has a wheelchair and wheeled me to the delivery room.

I cleaned myself when I arrived. The adult diaper was full.

I changed to a new one.

I quickly went through three adult diapers.

By this time, I had already lost 2 kilos of blood and funk.

They lay me on the gurney where they put a speculum inside me.

They removed even more gunk from me, all bloody and clotty.

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It was very discomforting and unpleasant.

My OB said the abortion would severely hurt, but my body didn’t let me feel pain. Just a lot of discomfort, especially since I couldn’t move anywhere because I was free flowing blood.

Whenever I would stand, I would bleed some more.

At 10pm, 3.5 hours after I first popped, my blood pressure dangerously dropped.

I started to cough, feel absolutely weak. I began to have chills all over my body and sweat bullets.

I think I heard the doctor say my BP was 20 over 40.

I felt really weak, my breathing long and labored.

The nurses panicked.

Up until this time, I was fine. Still joking. But when this suddenly happened, I was so weak and tired and couldn’t really move.

This was the time I felt that maybe this was the feeling patients had before they died.

Oooooh, so this is how it feels…

I never felt like this before.

By this time, I have lost 3 kilos of blood.

They gave me an IV and watched me stabilized. I had 4–5 nurses surrounding me.

My OB arrived upon my stabilization.

Despite me already excreting most of my body wastes, there was still some left since I was already at 14 weeks.

She scheduled a D&C at 12 midnight, 8 hours after my last meal at 4pm.

Apparently, you need to fast for 8 hours before a D&C.

They wheeled me in the cold delivery room at 12 midnight.

They gave me a spinal anesthetic to remove the pain.

They sedated me.

When I woke up, I was still in the operating room but I was finished.

They have removed the last part of my pregnancy: my placenta. It was Grey in color and looked sick.

They wheeled me to the recovery room afterwards. I was monitored until I could move a bit of my legs at 2:30am.

I was admitted to the room at 4am.

I was monitored closely.

The next morning, I was bleeding sparingly. The bleeding has almost stopped.

I couldn’t feel my butt until the afternoon. Maybe the anesthesia was so strong but I thought I was wearing a thick plastic diaper even though I wasn’t.

I was discharged at 4:30am and forced to rest.

When I went to work the next day, I was very pale, had chills and was shaking. So I was sent home.

I am on bedrest today. It’s my second day after the D&C.


I was only at 14 weeks when I had my abortion. Our fetus is as small as a little oyster.

It wasn’t my choice per se, but the body has to do its part.

Regardless on whether it’s your choice or not, it was a miserable, discomfiting and sad experience.

If your baby is bigger, I would expect more pain, more blood, and more discomfort.

It’s your body, and your choice of course.

But since we wanted to keep the baby, it was very sad when I was there at the delivery room’s recovery area, lying in preparation for my D&C, and just beside me are two mothers with their newly born babies recovering.

The irony wasn’t lost in me.

There I was, losing my baby. And there they were, just starting a new adventure.

The experience was interesting at best.

But I wouldn’t want anyone to lose 3 kilos of blood or more.

The body is not fit for an abortion.

It will always be a traumatic event.

It can be dangerous.

I chose to show our baby’s photo so you can see that what’s inside you is an actual human in process. It has five fingers and five toes at 11 weeks old.

I was lucky I didn’t have a choice on this abortion. My body chose to expel our baby when it was incompatible and unsuitable for birth.

The Lord has been so gracious we never had to make this decision.

But I can see how traumatic and difficult it may be for women who are still mulling over this choice.

So good luck. And may you make the right decision for you.

I survived my abortion.

It was like a birth. But it wasn’t. And it screws you up in many ways.

And I do hope I will never go through it again.