What to do if you found your yaya on Facebook

Congrats, you found your first yaya on Facebook!

Not only do you save money from paying hefty agency fees, you most likely found the yaya of your dreams who will be loyal to your family, take good care of your child, and is literally a Godsend.

But wait, you’re afraid to take the jump.

You’re worried that there’s no employer referrals for you to base your trust on. You’re worried she might endanger your baby. You’re worried that she’ll wear your clothes and post them on Facebook. And you’re worried that she’ll steal from your family.

All of these are very valid concerns.

There are so many bad yayas stories out there that there’s a closed Facebook group called Bad Maids PH for all the bad yayas stories happening in the Philippines.

I have found yayas on Facebook. 

When my old yaya suddenly left last December 2018, I scoured online for her replacement. The first yaya Arlene stayed for 6 days. Here’s my post on how elated I was when I first got her.

I continued my search after she told me after 6 days of work that her husband had an emergency and she had to cater to his needs for 24 hours before returning to work. Despite initially agreeing that her first day off would be after a month of service, she asked me for an immediate day off before the week was done.

I asked her to pack her belongings, paid her for 6 days of work and asked her to sign a quitclaim. Attached is my quitclaim here.

The second yaya I found within 2 days.

Sharon was happy and optimistic, but couldn’t stand the hours. She said she had a headache and needed to cater to her daughter’s pageant. I think it was more of family reasons that she left. She called it quits in 11 days time.

The third yaya I found after Sharon told me that she wanted to leave, but would respect the 30 day notice period, which we had under contract. I once again looked online, and found Zeny on Facebook.

Here are my Top 10 Tips in Finding a Yaya Online.

Yaya Zeny is still with us and our daughter is happy with her. Her daughter took care of the pamasahe from Mindoro to Manila, and so far, despite being older, she’s a pretty decent yaya whom we entrust to take our child to school and back, feed her, and make sure she doesn’t die.

My instructions to a prospect yaya is very simple, “Huwag gutumin. Huwag walain. And huwag patayin.”

After three yayas found on Facebook, all I can tell you is,

1. Have them sign an employment contract as soon as they start.

Make sure that you discuss with them all the details of their employment and rules of your household BEFORE they start working for you.

Attached is the Contract for New Yayas for your reference: New Maid Contract – Generic.

Personally, my rules are very clear as follows:

• No cash advance, bale or padala pamasahe. Crying about a family tragedy won’t work in me giving them pautang. If there’s a family tragedy, we will help out of the goodness of our heart,  but not because they asked for it.
• No cellphones while on duty.
• No emergency day offs. Sundays as preferred rest days. They have to inform me a few days before when they will day off so we can arrange our schedules accordingly.
• Doing the laundry via washing machine are part of their job descriptions. There’s just three of us in the family and no ironing is needed. But I don’t like yayas who tell me that they should only be responsible in childcare and that’s it.

2. Observe them closely on the first few days. 

I always keep an eye on the new yaya when they first start. I look at their working attitude, eating preferences, etc. and determine if I like them or not.

We like going to the malls and the yaya chooses to chase after my daughter when this happens. I do NOT stupidly let the yaya take care of my child alone when she’s new.

I would accompany them, keep an eye on the yaya, and see if there’s any red flags I should watch out for.

I look at yaya’s body language and attitude to see whether she likes her job and my child. Some yayas only accept this job due to the high pay but care nothing of my child.

The best yaya is someone who will eventually hug and show true concern for my child. You can see it if you open your eyes.

Be wary of the yaya who keeps her distance from your child.

Only leave the yaya alone with the child without any supervision after you feel comfortable, and not before. If your mommy gut feel shows serious reservations — like there’s something wrong with the yaya — follow your gut feel and observe yaya even more.

3. Do NOT believe what the yaya tells you all the time. Trust only after it’s earned, NOT before.

Yayas will lie.

For example, when I was looking for yayas, I’ve had 3 applicants who told me that they would show up but didn’t.

Literally, you’ve already set the day and place and time of arrival, and for some reason or another, they do NOT show up. One yaya even showed me the photo of her packed belongings to show that she’s ready to start, but couldn’t because her child got sick.

It is useless to concern yourself about their excuses. Watch what they do, NOT what they say.

It is useless to argue with a yaya. If you see a yaya who do not do what they say, get rid of her and move on to the next applicant. If she can’t keep her word in the beginning, she will be like that in the future.

Stop worrying about useless things and just move on.

4. Terminate with pay if you don’t like them.

While it’s hard to find a yaya nowadays, you should not tolerate a yaya’s bad attitude and misbehavior just because you’re desperate.

Like for example, Yaya# 1, it was annoying for me that she asked for a rest day within 6 days of employment when it was clear from the get go when she should have her first rest day. I thought that she’s already taken care of the husband and her household before starting to work, but I guess I was wrong.

I was also okay with Yaya# 2’s leaving after she brought up her concern. She liked me, but she was not fit to be a yaya anyway. So as long as she carried out her 30-day notice period, I was fine with her leaving. In the end, I allowed her to leave at 11 days with pay, after I found my next yaya Zeny.

Make sure that you have them sign the voucher proving that they’ve received their last pay and a quitclaim. Here’s my quitclaim for your records. This is the QuitClaim – Generic word document.

Once they sign the quitclaim and get their last pay, exit them from your house swiftly.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you investigate their bags thoroughly and escort them out of your gate before letting them go. Accompany them when they leave your house.

Many yayas pack a separate bag and leave it by the gate. Once you check their bags, they then get this separate bag before leaving your house.

5. Repeat the process if necessary.

I have probably reviewed 30+ bio-data, interviewed more than 10 yayas and suffered many disappointments in a day before I found our Yaya Zeny.

Here were my notes on the initial few days — as you can see, finding a yaya takes a lot of time and effort:

These were the yayas I said no to after I interviewed them:

Like any endeavor, finding a yaya takes a lot of time and effort.

The biggest mistake any mother makes is to assume that you do NOT need to give a lot of effort, and a good yaya will come on its own.

“I will just wait for a referral para sigurado,” that mommy would say. They would pester you for referral and justify their lack of yayas by saying that all yayas are bad, and it’s better that she take care of her child na lang than to have a bad yaya.

Actually, there are many good yayas out there. You just have to go and look for them. If you do not make an effort, how can you find a yaya?

Years has passed and she alone is taking care of her child(ren) with no help in tow. Then she will just sigh and pat herself in the back for stepping up because no other yaya can take care of her daughter as well as she did.

I work. I don’t have that luxury. I need a yaya for my daughter. So I look and look. I make a career out of looking for a yaya.

As you can see from my notes, I put in the effort in looking for a yaya, scouring the Internet and agencies for them, interviewing them, and being disappointed when I don’t work out. I have good relationships with agencies since they also provide me with a good pool of yayas when I need them.

At the end of the day, I am almost always rewarded for my hard efforts. Thanks to God, barring Christmas season, I can usually find a yaya within a week of looking.

But that’s because I put in the effort.

Are you putting in the effort?

BONUS TIP: When you find a good yaya, take good care of them. The best way to find a good yaya is to not lose a good yaya.

I know in my heart that any yaya would be so lucky to start in my household.

We pay our yayas well. Treat them with respect. And are considerate of their needs without letting them be abusive of your kindness.

With us, they can really save money. Every yaya that came out from our employ always brought a lot more bags than they first arrived. Which is why our old yayas do ask to be taken back after they’ve left as follows:

Even though I was so desperate for a yaya, I didn’t ask her back. I tried to ask help from the agencies and scoured online to look for a new one.

And after many days of trying, we found our yaya.

I hope that this helps you in finding a good yaya for your child(ren). Good yayas are out there. All you do is have hope, make an effort, and try and try until you succeed.

Good luck Mommies!

A Semi-Comprehensive List to Manila’s Summer Classes (Sports, Staff Crew, Sensory Play)

Summer is once again here and everyone wants to enroll their child to an interesting activity that can further their child’s holistic development and well being. But where do you start?

Personally, I want my child to develop more academically, so I’ve enrolled my child to CMA (Math), The Reading Station (Reading and Comprehension), Bless Learning Center (Conversational Mandarin) and Aqualogic (Swimming), but other mothers may want something else.

Hence, I have compiled a list of Manila’s available summer classes for 2019. Who knows? You may find the right class for you and your child!

If you want your child to experience being a Kiddie Crew:

McDonalds Kiddie Crew 2019

WHEN/Schedule: Weekday workshop runs for 5 days and each day will last for 2 hours each. While the new weekend workshop option is a 2-day workshop made of 3 hours each.  Time schedule: 10:00 AM, 1:00 PM, and 3:00 PM.  Workshop will run from April 8 to July 7, 2019
WHERE: Participating McDonald’s branch nationwide, see links below for reference.
RATES: P695 (for 5-day workshop) and P595 (for 2-day workshop) inclusive of the workshop uniform (t-shirt, cap, bag, ID with lace), daily workshop materials, and daily meals!
LINKS: For more information, visit the McDonald’s branch nearest you or check their website: https://mcdonalds.com.ph/content/page/kiddie_crew_2019 and Facebook Page for updates.
SOURCE: Credit goes to Mommy Practicality Summer Workshops 2019 to where I copied and pasted this information.

Jollibee Mini Managers Camp (April 1-May 31, 2019, Nationwide)

The Jollibee Mini Managers Camp is a 6-day workshop for 4 to 12 years old kids. To inquire, please proceed to the participating stores yourselves.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/jollibee/mini-managers-camp-2019/2244320688947478/

According to the site, the camp “aims to impart to kid participants the importance of hard work and good values like leadership and responsibility through various fun learning activities. As a bonus, they get to interact with other kids and meet new friends. Example of camp activities include exposure to Jollibee values, store practices, arts and crafts, Yumburger making, ice cream making, dancing and more.”

Rates: Php 650 gets you the following:

• 1 set of Mini Managers Uniform (w/ Name Plate)
• Camp Bag
• Snacks for 6 days
• Other activity materials

Attire: Their Jollibee Mini Managers uniform, black belt, white socks, black shoes, and hair net (for girls) during the entire workshop duration.

Here are a semi-list of participating outlets. You can get the full list at their site here.

Sources: Manila for Kids Summer 2019

If you want your child to be active in Sports:

Milo Sports Clinic (Nationwide)

WHAT: “MILO^® Summer Sports Clinics teaches participants the fundamentals of popular sports and values such as discipline, confidence, and teamwork to help them become more well-rounded individuals.
PROGRAMS: 19 different sports programs
SCHEDULE: Each sports has its own schedule where you can check out here.
How to Register: Pick a sport and region where you’re located to register. Contact the organizers closest to you for registration details.

  

Ready Steady Go Kids (Valle Verde, Pasig City)

Ready Steady Go Kids is a well-known Australian sports and exercise program for kids, offers fun classes that improve your child’s gross motor skills, and learn skills like how to listen, follow directions, and work with other children.

Duration of classes: Classes in Valle Verde 5 run from April 6, 13, 27, May 4, 11, 18, 25, June 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 (every Saturday).

Venue: Valle Verde 5, Pasig
How to enroll: Call +632 211-8344
Price: Php7,800 for 12 classes and Php10,000 for 20 classes
Facebook: Ready Steady Go Kids
Source and Credit to for Information: Smart Parenting

Futbol Funatics (All over Metro Manila)

Want your child to learn soccer? This summer class ends with a blast with a tournament to rev up your child’s competitive spirit.

Program Information: Futbol Funatics offers year-round camps in various locations around Metro Manila, specifically Cavite, Paranaque, Alabang, Makati, Taguig and Pasig.

Schedule: April 1-May 15, 2019. Each module has 10 sessions, with 5-6 modules offered per camp venue per year. Enrollees are accepted any time throughout a module.
Training Frequency: 2x per week.
Class Duration: The Beckham Buddies sessions (ages 3 to beginner 6’s and 7’s) run for 1 hour, while sessions for all other older age groups run for 1.5 hours.
Ages: At least 3 years old
Contact: 0917-329-0011
Schedules: Full schedule here.
Venues:

• Cuenca Park, Ayala Alabang Village, Muntinlupa (April 3 to May 15, Wed & Fri, 8:30 a.m.)
• Tahanan Village Park, BF Homes, Parañaque (April 3 to May 15, Wed & Fri, 4:30 p.m.)
• Urdaneta Park, Urdaneta Village, Makati (April 2 to May 16, Tue & Thu, 4:30 p.m.)
• BGC-Turf, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig (April 1 to May 15, Mon & Wed, 4:30 p.m.)
• Meralco Fitness Center Oval, Ortigas Ave., Pasig (April to May 19, Sat & Sun, 4 p.m.)
• Elizabeth Seton Field, Imus, Cavite (Schedule TBA)
• Goodstart School – Philamhomes, Quezon City (Schedule TBA)

How to enroll: Make your reservations via text message to +63 917 329-0011 (for all venues except Philamhomes, QC). Messages should follow this format: Full Name of the child + Age + Camp Venue + Module Period. Within 24 hours, Futbol Funatics will send you a response regarding the availability of slots.

Price: Ranges from Php550 (1 session) to Php4,000+ (all sessions)
Website: http://www.futbolfunatics.com/
Facebook: Futbol Funatics
Source and Credit to for Information: Smart Parenting

Bohemian Football School (Paranaque City)

Summer is just around the corner and Bohemian Football School is doing its first Summer Camp for kids who want to learn or develop their skills in Football!

A tribute to Filipino Football legend Paulino Alcántara, The Bohemian Football School is a training program that strategically focuses on strengthening the player’s fundamental skills. It is a program that you can choose to opt as your child’s primary football training, or an appending football mastery class on top of your child’s ongoing club or varsity football training.

Ages: Age 4 to 15 years old
Child to Coach Ratio: 1 coach to 10 students max
Venue: Sessions will be conducted at The Village Sports Club, Paranaque City
Contact: footballschool@bohemiansc.com.ph or 09177744696
Website: www.bohemiansc.com.ph
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bohemianfootballschool/

Taekwondo Lessons at The Upper Deck Sports Center (Pasig City)

FitKids’

FitKids’ Summer Programs offer a variety of fitness programs aimed to increase collaboration, active fun and learning. They offer the following classes in different venues in and around the city:

• Ballet: Makati, Taguig, Alabang, QC and Manila
• Hip-hop: Makati, SM Aura, QC
• Football: ⚽️ Blue Bay Pasay, Binondo, SM Aura, Salcedo Makati, Rockwell, San Antonio Village Makati, and Marikina!
• Judo programs: SM Aura, Makati

Here are the classes available in Makati, powered by Cambridge Salcedo and Groundworks by Playworks:

Classes in Taguig and BGC Areas:

Classes in Quezon City and Manila:

Please check out their Facebook account for more details:

Contact: 0917 513 8377
For Ages: 1.5 years old to 12 years old
How to enroll: Send a message to FitKids official Facebook page to reserve a slot.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fitkidsph/

Swimming classes at Aqualogic Swim Co. (Various Locations)

It’s never too early to start fostering swimming skills in your little one! Aqualogic Swim Co. offers year-round swim classes for kids of all ages: AquaBabes for children ages 6 to 35 months, AquaKids for children ages 3 to 14, and AquaTech for children ages 15 and above.

Rates are also reasonable given how important swimming is as a skill to learn:

To reserve or enroll, simply text their numbers and they’re quite responsive.

 

To contact them:

Aqualogic Swim Co.
Tel: 0917-858 2782, 0917-703-6386, 02-703-6386
Website: www.aqualogicswimco.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aqualogicswim/

Swimming classes at Bert Lozada Swim School (All over Metro Manila)

Bert Lozada Swim School (BLSS) is the biggest and well-managed swim school in the country, employing an average of 150 teachers, coaches and staff. From a single venue in 1956 (YMCA Manila), it now has 56 venues all over the country. The school has produced 7 Olympians, several national swimmers and record holders.

Programs: http://www.bertlozadaswimschool.com/programs

How to register? Check out their list of accredited Bert Lozada Swim School locations via:

1. Visit their website: www.bertlozadaswimschool.com
2. Call them at Tel: (632) ‎563-5532, or
3. Send them a message at their Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bertlozadaswimschool

If you want your child to enroll in a variety of other activities:

Photography: 1 Day Young Photography Workshop for Kids

Young Photographers: Photography Workshop for Kids 2019

Is your child aged 8-17 years old and is showing interest in taking pictures with remarkably great photos? Would you like them to enhance their talent in photography?

Manila Workshops and Cath Kidston would like to invite you to this year’s Photography Workshop for Kids!

What Kids Will Learn:

1. The Camera and How It Works
• Bodies and lenses.
• Capabilities and limitations

2. Why Are We Getting Blurred Photos?
• Exposure triangle lecture and hands-on
• Aperture and depth of field
• Shutter speed and motion
• ISO

3. Camera Handling and Care

4. Why you need to shoot in the best lighting conditions and finding what works.
• Light and exposure (further demo on the exposure triangle)
• Understanding light and how to use it to your advantage.
• Artificial lighting and Natural light
• Hard and soft lighting.
• Modifying light

5. Quick formulas to ensure good photos.
• Elements of composition.
• Subject, foreground, and background relationship.
• Emphasis.
• Rule of thirds.

6. Visual exercises and the IG game.
• Photo challenge
• Portraits
• Still life
• Abstract/IG game

EVENT DETAILS:

Date: April 13, 2019
Time: 11AM – 6PM
Venue: Cath Kidston, BGC, Taguig City

LEARNING RATES:

Early Bird Rate: Php 2,499.00
Regular Rate: Php 3,499.00

**Workshop Fee is inclusive of handouts, certificates, giveaways and snacks!**

For more details contact:
VENI – veni.anabo@manilaworkshops.com | 09272816651

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Quezon City Activities:

Bless Learning Resources (Banawe, Quezon City)

Address: 219-6 Biak na Bato, Quezon City, Philippines
Contact: 0943 858 3211
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blesslearningresources/

Hello Munchkins Play Cafe (Banawe, Quezon City):

Address: 219 Biak na Bato, Barangay Manresa, Quezon City
Tel: 961-4634 or 0917-528-9163
Ages: 2 to 10 years old
Email: hellomunchkinsplaycafe@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hellomunchkins/

Smallville Montessori: Arts & Crafts, Yoga, Cooking, Reading, Music @ (Katipunan, QC)

Smallville Montessori Katipunan
Location: 21 Esteban Abada St. Loyola Heights QC
Contact: 0917-898=8374 or 932-6322
Class Times: From 10am-12nn, 2x to 3x per week
Rates: P15,000 for the whole month

Pasig City Activities:

Messy Baby Play (UA&P, Pasig City)

Why messy? Because is fun!  Especially when each session has thematic, sensory play stations that allow your little ones to explore colors, shapes and textures, with you guiding them.

It’s a great way to bond with your little ones, and observe how they relate to different objects and experiences.

For example, for water play:

Beat the summer heat while engaging your little ones in water play! Water’s one of the best open-ended mediums to interact with—depending on presentation—we’ve had them sudsy, colored, frozen—whatever shape or form, kids loooove playing with it!

And it isn’t just all splashing, splooshing, and making a fun mess, water play is an exercise in gross and fine motor skills, and for our toddlers who are crazy about transfer work and pouring, their play can also

☀️ Begin an understanding of the concepts of less and more
☀️ Develop eye-hand coordination
☀️ Help develop problem solving skills
☀️ Engage their senses with varied presentations—warm, cold, solid, sudsy, colored

What’s even more awesome, is if you have a little patch of green grass available to you, you can set up right there, and not only keep your little one busy with play, you get to water the plants too! 😊 Multitasking, and conservation! Well, every little bit helps. We hope your access to water’s a-okay. To water play, you won’t need much. 😉

Check out what we have in store for you this week, as we come to the last few sessions of Term 1! We have a few more slots left at CDE, we hope to see you there!

Just send us a DM, or head over to messybabyplay.com/register —it’s the link in our bio.

To Register: http://messybabyplay.com/register/
Locations: Makati and Ortigas Center
Price: Php 3,900.00 
Website: www.messybabyplay.com

To be Continued if I have time….

 

Summer is Here! And so are Summer Classes!

Pre-school just ended this week, and summer has just begun. Apparently, my daughter has 3.5 months of summer break to enjoy before she resumes her regular classes.

Fortunately, so many people are offering a broad variety of summer classes. That’s why, I’m swamped with deciding which activity I am to enroll her. Yipee!!!

While money is no object (since many of the classes are affordable anyway), I have to be more selective on which class to enroll her since I don’t want to tire her unnecessarily.

I still do want her to enjoy summer as she’s only 3 years old. 🙂

Just in case you’re wondering, my decisions are based on five important factors, as follows:

1. Schedule for more convenient Logistics – The classes must fit each other.  I don’t want her classes to be all over the place.
2. Location – It still has to be graphically desirable.
3. Enrolling her must make sense on the type of person I want her to be – Sorry, but I don’t think I’d want her to be a ballerina, so ballet classes while cute, is a no go.
4. Talent – She must have a natural affinity for it. My daughter cannot draw and doesn’t seem to be interested in coloring so no art classes for her.
5. Reviews and Referrals – Which is why I picked two of her classes, CMA and The Reading Station. Both programs come highly recommended by my peers.

To be honest, her learning how to cook or to dance may be cute, but we don’t really think it’s that important at this time.

We can teach her how to cook and bake at home (or at least, wait until she’s a little bit older to appreciate it), and from what I heard, dancing classes at such a young age may not be optimal as other older kids may overshadow her.

In the end, I’ve enrolled her in the following classes, and I’m very happy with my choices. Here they are for your reference:

1. Swimming Classes: Aqualogic Swim Co.

My class of choice is from Aqualogic Swim Co.

Photo Credit: Aqualogic Swim Co.

Swimming is a very important life skill, and I think it’s important for a child to get over their fear of water at a young age. Aqualogic has a lot of venues available, and their Richmonde Hotel Ortigas class is set in an indoor heated pool (I like!).

Rates are also reasonable given how important swimming is as a skill to learn:

We are enrolling our daughter twice a week for the entire summer. It’s easy to enroll them. Simply text their numbers and they’re quite responsive.

To contact them:

Aqualogic Swim Co.
Tel: 0917-858 2782, 0917-703-6386, 02-703-6386

2. Math: CMA Mental Arithmetic

I wanted to enroll her at CMA ever since we conceived our child, but was forced to wait until she was 3 years old before we could enroll her.

This is the class that excited us the most. Why?

Watch and be impressed:

Here’s her assignment for Class 1 — Pairing builds up familiarization to the Chinese Abacus. Even my husband wants to learn how.

After seeing the kids compete in a CMA Competition in SMX, we were sold. We’ve been wanting to enroll her ever since. Can’t believe she’s starting now. 🙂

The rates are also reasonable for me:

Php 4,200 for 8 sessions + Php 2,500 for materials = Php 6,700.00 per month
Makeup classes: 2 classes

To inquire:

CMA Mental Arithmetic
East of Galleria Building, Topaz Road, Ortigas Center, Pasig City
Tel: +63 2 584 9670, +63 917 568 6875
https://www.cma.ph/

3. Reading: The Reading Station

Self explanatory. I believe that books open up a lot of world for kids and so far, I’ve heard a lot of good reviews about The Reading Station. There are a lot of branches available, and I booked the branch that is closest to my husband’s place of work:

Taken from the website, here are the program details:

The Phono-Graphics Reading Program (COURSE LENGTH: 2 1/2 years to 3 years)

COURSE DESCRIPTION

The Phono-Graphics Reading Program also known as the PGRP is a course for Early Reading Literacy. With practice, training and discipline, goals are achieved.

The program is designed for non readers and emergent readers ages 3 1/2 to 7 years old.

Kids who are found to be more than 7 years old but with reading skills covered still in the program are accepted in the center.

Special emphasis is given to decoding, encoding, comprehension and early love for reading.

COURSE GOALS

• Early Reading (Decoding)
• Spelling (Encoding)
• Comprehension Skills
• Vocabulary Build up
• Sentence Construction
• Language Skills
• Basic Paragraph Writing
• Reading Discipline
• Very Early Love for Reading

Rates are a little bit higher but let’s try before we complain — Php 18,000 for 36 hours or 3 months program, at one hour per class.

To inquire, book for an assessment at the branch closest to you:

The Reading Station – Philippines
MAIN BRANCH
Unit C, 109 Scout De Guia, Brgy.,
Sacred Heart, Quezon City, Philippines
Tel: +63 917 100 5252  •  +63 2 358 3337
Branches:  http://www.trs.ph/branches.html
Website: http://www.trs.ph/index.html#about

4. Conversational Mandarin: Bless Learning Resources

This is the first time for me to try Bless Learning Resources but their summer program looks very interesting.

I talked to Teacher Eliza today, and was interested in their conversational Mandarin class. Ideally held 3x a week for the summer period for one hour per class, their conversational Mandarin focuses on words that are regularly used daily like:

“How are you?”

“What’s your name?”

“How much is it?”

It’s a great complement to her now Chinese classes at her preschool.

To inquire:
Bless Learning Resources
Address: 219-6 Biak na Bato corner Makaturing St. Brgy Manresa Quezon City
Tel: 560-4519, 0943-858-3211
Look for Eliza

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I’ve stopped at enrolling my daughter at four since just these alone will give her a busy schedule with two varied classes per day. Here’s her schedule:

• Swimming: 2x a week, 1 hour per class
• CMA Math: 2x a week, 1 hour per class
• The Reading Station: 3x a week, 1 hour per class
• Conversational Mandarin: 3x a week, 1 hour per class

Overall, I’m happy with her choices. I know it looks like a lot, but it’s over a space of 6 days so it’s quite loose.

I will revisit this post after daughter finishes her programs to give you an unbiased review on how good these programs really are.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Mother’s Advice: Do NOT make your kids your world

I am a first time mom. 

Being a first time mom, I can see how easy it is to trap ourselves in being our children’s everything.

Even as a newborn, our kids are treated as kings and queens in our households.

We anxiously cater to our child’s every need.

I remember carrying my daughter and breastfeeding her while I’m at work because she simply refused to be bottle fed. My mom had to buy different brands of bottles to no avail, since my daughter stubbornly insisted that it was either my breast or nothing.

My Friend’s Story: Why She Felt Inadequate as a Mother

“Why can’t anyone sympathize with me?” my friend wailed. “Can’t they see my frustration in trying to do everything for my child?”

At that time, my friend said she had post-partum depression, stemming from the fact that my friend felt that she was an inadequate mother. The core reason was, she couldn’t produce any milk after she gave birth. This was a disappointment for her since she hoped that her child would be breastfed after hearing from many fellow mothers that breast was best.

Unfortunately, the child was not cooperative and refused to eat. So, she felt bad that despite her best intentions, as a mother, she couldn’t even feed her own child.

A lot of her problems stems from the fact that she was putting a lot of pressure on herself. 

All children are different.

Everyone develops and acts differently, and most of the time, many are uncooperative to what we believe they should act, feel or do.

Our fault as a mother lies in the fact that we put too much pressure on ourselves to act a certain way for the good of our child.

The child should eat pureed vegetables once she hits 6 months old!

Well, what if she doesn’t want to eat veggies?

My child should be breastfed!

Well, what if you don’t have any milk? Your child is getting thinner and she needs her sustenance.

They should be walking once they hit 1 years old!

What if they still can’t walk by that time? Would you rush her to a development pedia just to see what’s wrong with her?

Why is my child biting other kids? What’s wrong with me?

Well what if they still can’t control their feelings and this is how they show their frustration when other kids take their toys?

Why is my child not excelling in school?

Many kids are raised differently. The one kid that excels may be tutored every day. It’s not your kid’s fault if he/she is not outstanding this year. There are other years to consider.

We have to stop being anxious and start going with the flow.

Mommies, aren’t our LOVE enough?

Why do we pin our hopes and dreams on our children, and punish ourselves unnecessarily when our kids do not live up to our expectations?

Why do we blame ourselves first when things don’t go our way?

Why do we get sour and get mad at our husband for things beyond his control? Can we please stop telling them to be a parent as if we are the expert in being parents?

We are our kids’ mothers.

We love our kids.

When we love our kids, we should trust ourselves in doing the correct things for them already. When love is present, how can we go wrong?

However, when we stress about our childrearing skills, we create an environment of anxiousness and hostility. We take this out on the people around us, even though they’re not really the core of the problem. Then we feel guilty when we become bitches as a mom, as if we do not control the matter.

We were at Universal Studios Singapore the other day. I brought along our 3 year old with us, and we totally had a blast.

Sure, there were some rides that she couldn’t ride on. The Mummy had a height requirement so my daughter was forced to spend the hour with her grandmother.

When my brother and I took the ride and lined up for 70 minutes, we had a grand time bonding together, and I didn’t worry about my daughter, whom I knew was in good hands.

I was present with my brother when we were falling in line.

I enjoyed the attraction even though my daughter was not with me.

And when I came out of the ride, I saw that my mom was feeding my daughter some coconut and my three year old was playing, not knowing that she was abandoned for an hour while her mom was riding the roller coaster.

Did I have a blast? YES.

Did I feel guilty? NOT REALLY.

Did my daughter pout because I abandoned her? NO, She was having a blast on her own with her grandmother.

Did anyone care because I was riding while I was leaving my kid with someone else? NOPE.

Was the kid alive when I got back. Yes, definitely.

So I think Mommies can take it a bit easy. Trust that you’re being the best mom there is and let yourself go a little bit.

Sure, kids and motherhood can be very stressful.

It’s a new experience and nobody’s ever given us a handbook on how to raise good behaved kids.

We may feel abandoned and alone when we’re going through the process.

We may feel that nobody understands us and everything we do is merely for the sake of our kids.

But before we give our all to our kids, give ourselves some slack first.

Breathe, relax, and re-energize ourselves.

Especially as mother’s give everything to our families, it’s crucial that we also regulate ourselves that we do not deplete our sense of selves, because we’ve been so busy giving our everything to other people.

We should stop laying our expectations to our poor kids and husbands, and just focus on enjoying the process of motherhood, because it’s always so darn short.

We should stop thinking as other people as the enemy, and see them as our partners in taking care of our children. As I’ve said before, it takes a village to raise a child.

So here you go mommy. Here’s my kid to babysit and enjoy. Take her out, buy her toys, and spoil her to death.

I know that others love her and my child will be safe in their care.

I will not be swapang with my own child and keep her as my own.

Instead, while other people are taking care of her and ensuring that she is okay, I will enjoy my time, manage my business, enjoy my life, and still be a good mother to my child when I come home.

Motherhood is difficult as it is. So please, let us cut ourselves more slack.

As long as the baby don’t die, don’t worry. She’s in good hands so long as other people will take care of her.

We support you and love you.

Now leave the child with us and enjoy the ride. 🙂

Your child will thank you for it once you’re back and recharged.

Have a good week everyone!

10 Practical Tips when Visiting Universal Studios Singapore if you have Kids 3 Years Old and Above

If you’re in Singapore, the best attraction to go to if you have kids 3 years old and above is a day trip to Universal Studios. It’s fun, something different and definitely an experience to remember. In short, it’s a great reasonably priced way to spend time with the entire family.

Here’s my top 10 tips on making a trip to Universal Studios especially if you have kids:

1. Go on a weekday for best results.

Universal Studios Singapore get very crowded on the weekend. If you can, go on a weekday.

We went on a Friday, and it was still comfortable. Sure, some popular rides had lines that last an hour, but it’s still better than to line up on a Saturday or Sunday.

2. Take a taxi if you’re coming from the city. Not the subway or Grab Car.

Interesting fact: Since Grab utilizes private vehicles, kids are required to use car seats if you’re bringing little kids. If you ride a taxi, not only is it equally safe, but car seats are optional.

We took a taxi from Orchard Road and it cost us a reasonable SGD 10 from Orchard Road to Universal Studios. The taxi drops you right by Resorts World Sentosa, which is a short walk to Universal Studios.

Given that we had one stroller, one naughty 3 year old kid and two adults, a taxi was a fine way to get around Singapore at an affordable price. No need for unnecessary transfers!

Added plus: Singaporean taxi drivers are a chatty bunch. I’ve had lovely conversations with all of the taxi drivers we engaged with this trip.

3. Take a souvenir photo at the Universal Studios Singapore globe.

Make sure that the globe spells “Univers” when you make that shot.

Yes, it’s okay to ask the other visitors to take your photo.

They won’t run off with it because it’s Singapore. 🙂

4. Buy your tickets via Klook: Less Lines, Zero Hassle 

We bought the tickets via Klook, and it was a breeze.

All you have to do is show your Electronic ticket by the door, and you’re in. No need to line up in the Singapore heat:

The more you buy, the more you save. The price is a measely Php 150 cheaper, but with the added credits earned when you’re a Klook user helps. When we bought for example, I used the code and saved HKD10.

5. Make sure your child avails most of the rides if allowed by height requirement. 

My daughter is 3 and she was able to ride most of the rides. The rides can be ridden based on height requirement, and my daughter was able to ride most of the rides except for Cyclone, The Mummy, and Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure.

Here were some of the rides that she partook as a 3-year old. My niece who was 6 months old pretty much stayed in the stroller, but a 3-year old girl can already enjoy most of the park.

6. Bring your own stroller. 

Save money from renting and simply bring your own stroller. You can hang your shopping on the side, or have your child nap when he/she gets tired.

There’s a designated stroller parking beside every attraction, and it’s perfectly safe to just leave most of your things unattended while you go on the rides. Just make sure to bring your money bag with you.

7. Take advantage of the SINGLE RIDER option especially with popular rides. 

Popular rides like Transformers The Ride (Sci-Fi City, F4), Revenge of the Mummy (Ancient Egypt, E2), and Jurassic Park Rapids Adventue (D5, The Lost World), and Canopy Flyer (The Lost World, D2) have the Single Rider option you can fully take advantage of.

If you go in via the Single Rider option, you are what we call the “Panakip butas.”

The Single Riders ride in USS is almost always surprisingly empty. Hence, it’s a great way to ride the attraction faster since everyone always takes the regular attraction line since they want to sit with their companions.

While most groups would want to ride together, Single Riders can be inserted in any group whenever there’s a seating gap in a ride. That’s why, this line is so fast.

At the peak hour, it only took us a brief 10-15 minute wait for Transformers. Whereas riding the Mummy on peak hour took us 70 minutes for the regular line.

No point with sitting together with your companions. Take the Single Rider line instead.

8. Make time for the shows, even though they’re a bit disappointing. 

Here’s the list of shows available at Universal Studios Singapore. Many of them run short — the Madagascar Boogie lasts only 10-15 minutes before proceeding to picture taking, but it’s worthwhile to catch them if you can.

Catch the Waterworld Show (1:30pm, 5:00pm and 8:30pm): It’s a classic and fun to watch, complete with fire and water special effects.

Is Shrek 4D considered a show? Please don’t miss it. It was really fun. The Donkey Live Show however was a bit boring and can be missed if you’re out of time.

9. Position yourself in New York by the Diner for the Parade at 7:30pm. 

We sat in front of the Spaghetti Space Chase Theatre (Close to the Diner) and was able to get an amazing view. of the parade which started on 7:30pm.

This position already signals the end of the line, which is most likely why this is the best position to watch the parade.

The parade only lasts till 8:00pm so it was super short. There were only a handful of floats that were presented, but if you are already there, might as well go. Selected Saturdays include fireworks, but going on a Saturday may not be worth it especially given longer lines.

10. BEST TIP EVER: Ride all the rides from 8pm!

After the parade, everyone was keen to go home and eat especially since many of the restaurants were already closed by that time. Hence, there were literally ZERO or minimal lines after 8pm. This was the BEST time to go around the park.

We left all our bags with our relatives by the Diner (Remember the 6 month old baby?), and ran all the way through all the rides.

From 8pm to 9pm, we were able to ride the Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure, Canopy Flyer, Revenge of the Mummy, the Puss in Boots Giant Journey, the Cyclone Roller Coaster twice, and the Transformers.

Given this new information, if you visit, go on a weekday, start late afternoon, and end at 9pm when the park officially closes. Ride what you can, but if the line is too long, wait until the parade finishes and ride the popular attraction twice or three times.

In summary, come and visit the Universal Studios Singapore if you visit Sentosa. It is a worthwhile place to go to for the day especially if you have toddlers in tow. The price is also reasonable given the quality of the rides, and if you live in Singapore, it may be worthwhile to get the Annual Pass.

Regular ticket prices is only SGD79. If you go to USS 2.5 times more, then it’s well worth your money already.

Universal Studios Singapore
8 Sentosa Gateway, Singapore 098269
Operating Hours: 10am to 9pm
https://www.rwsentosa.com/en/attractions/universal-studios-singapore/explore

Why I let my Mother Spoil my Daughter

My mother is in her 70s, and boasts of only two grandchildren — one by me, and the other is my brother’s 5 month old daughter.

Much to her annoyance, we married quite late, and while all her siblings has had numerous apos, many of which were sons, she’s just stuck with two.

However, despite not having that many grandkids, my mother showers my daughter with much unconditional love, toys and gifts.

After my daughter was born, my mom who lived elsewhere, would make a trek to my house at least twice a week to gawk and stare at my daughter. When daughter was older, she became more demanding, and the gifts from her loving grandmother kept on coming.

Mothers who believe in the Montessori method will shake their heads in disbelief. My house is full of my daughter’s toys, all bought by my mother for my daughter. She buys from 168 so it’s not that expensive, but since my mom buys ALL THE TIME, it all adds up.

The Marie Kondo method does not work on us, as everything for my daughter sparks joy.

Just last week for example, my mom took my daughter to Toy Kingdom.

After scouring the shelves and playing with the toys for free, my daughter managed to sucker her grandmother in buying the following:

“It’s only Php 1,200 a set,” my mom claimed. “Cheaper than 168!”

The problem was not that it was cheaper, or whether it was affordable for her. The issue was that I already have two kitchen sets at home — one wooden, and the other one plastic.

“But this has a different design!” the insistent grandmother exclaimed. “A small price for happiness!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I let my mom buy my daughter a toy. This is them with their haul:

I only have one important reason in letting my mom buy this toy for my daughter —

My mom is happy to be a good grandmother to my daughter. Buying for my kid SPARKS JOY to my mom.

My mom is now 70+ years old.

Through the many years, she and my dad worked hard, made sacrifices, and held back on their purchases to ensure that my brother and I have a bright future.

The first time she bought something for herself was 6 years ago, when she asked me whether she should buy sports shoes as she never had a pair. It broke my heart to see my mom never having to buy anything for herself, as she has showered us kids with what should have been hers.

My daughter is just three. She will live longer than my mother.

Hence, my mom only has a few decades to live vs. my daughter. If my mom passes away earlier, my daughter will only have remnants on what type of grandmother she had. If that is the case, one of the best gifts I can give my daughter is that she is unconditionally loved by her grandmother.

My mom has a few years to spoil my child.

Twice a week visits will NOT spoil her as my child lives in our stricter household.

But I do not want to deprive my mom from the joys of grandparenthood. 

At the end of the day, our children is ours. My mom is merely borrowing my daughter for a few hours and together, they make each other feel good.

I let her spoil my child now and then. That’s one of the best things of being a grandkid, and a grandmother. It will NOT kill me to let them have their fun.

Here is my mom and my daughter with their haul, walking hand in hand, happily back to the carpark:

I will not be annoyed because she spoiled my child for Php 1,200. It’s just money. And I don’t want to be the killjoy to them both by muttering and complaining to her that she’s spoiling my child.

Instead, I will bask at these photos, seeing them walk hand in hand, knowing that my mom loves my daughter, and my daughter loves her back:

It’s heartwarming and well within my control to give. And this is why I let my mom spoil my child, and let my child sucker my mom.

It won’t be forever, and it’s best to leave your kid with fond loving memories of the grandmother who loves her to death. Because that’s one best gift we can give to our children — the love of the grandparents.

Have a great week ahead!

Highly Recommended: Euphemia Creatives Children Photographers

Last Sunday, I was lucky enough to book at slot with child photographers, Euphemia Creatives.

Boasting less than 1,000 Instagram followers to date, Euphemia Creatives is one of those underrated suppliers who is still relatively unknown, but is so talented that you cannot help but gush about to anyone who would listen (even though it’s so tempting to just keep quiet and keep them to yourselves).

However, I was so impressed by their output that I think it’s but fair to share the love and joy.

The couple is unassuming and humble.

When we met at the UP Diliman, I was relatively unimpressed by the scenery: UP Diliman is not the cleanliest of venues, but it was free, and at the right hands, is a beautiful backdrop for photos.

We met last Sunday, February 17, at 3:00 pm at the UP Stone Markers.

Check out the scenery as we were making our way to the photo site:

Sir Jommy and Ma’m Mowina are a young couple that make up Euphemia Creatives.

I found them to be very low-key, chillax, and uber nice photographers.

Unassuming, is the best word to describe the couple.

Check out the photos of our shoot just to see how relaxing the entire experience was:

  

Ma’m Mowina was there to talk to my daughter, give directions and hold the reflector.

Sir Jommy was there just snappin’ away like a boss.

To be honest, given how chill everything was, I had doubts on the type of output the team would create. Given the location and the fact that my daughter was NOT a professional model, I had low expectations on the type of photos we would get that afternoon.

However, that’s where you just have to trust your suppliers.

There is a reason you booked them in the first place. So even with my doubts, I let them do their stuff. Sure, I hung back and tried to help, but it was magical to see how they handled my daughter and made her cooperate.

I think one important factor is the care and respect Sir Jommy and Ma’m Mowina treats their clients — the kids they are actually taking photos of.

Sir Jommy was so nice and talked to my daughter like an adult. They gently encouraged her to pose, while remaining true to herself.  Here is the Euphemia Creatives team showing my daughter how pretty she is on camera:

I was sincerely touched.

Many photographers think of the kids as a job and source of income. Many photographers would not talk the way Sir Jommie did to our daughter.

Our session was an hour, with a maximum of three outfits. Thankfully, the weather cooperated, and while hot, it was still bearable. Surprisingly, we kept to the time and we were finished by around 4:15pm.

The Euphemia Creatives team promised us the photos by that evening. To our surprise, they uploaded the link to Google Photos, and we were BLOWN AWAY by the quality of their work.

As I’ve said, here were the photos that I took on the day itself. I show this to you to highlight what a mommy photo would look like vs. how a pro would do it:

These were their raw and unedited photos:

I would just let the results speak for themselves.

Across the board, just by looking at the raw and unedited photos, we knew we discovered an absolute treasure. Sir Jommy’s hit ratio was high: Every photo was beautifully taken, and captured the fun and naughty essence of my daughter.

 

Sir Jommy’s talent is undoubted, and we are so so so pleased with the result. Hence, which is why, I’m making this special review to sing their praises.

Honestly, it was so difficult to choose just 20 out of the 487 raw photos they asked us to choose from. Out of the 487 photos, I had to slim it down to a difficult 150 photos. And from them, I had to pick 20 photos for final edit!

I will be sending the 20 photos I picked today to Euphemia Creatives for final editing. I cannot wait to see the final result in 2 weeks time.

Just for your reference, here are some of their finished works:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To the Euphemia Creatives husband and wife team

Thank you so much for honoring our appointment, and for the beautiful photos. I am sincerely touched by your effort, impressed by how you handled my child, and blown away by your talent.

Hopefully, my review will help in bringing you more business. My only simple request is that if and when you become uber popular, please still give us a slot if we book ahead of time. I know that you will be soon to be stars in the child photography industry, and I hope you will never forget your humble roots, and let your work simply speak for itself.

Photo session details:
Venue: UP Stone Marker
Age of Daughter: 3 years old – so can follow directions
Outfits: From Hailey & Co., and The Living Doll PH

To book Euphemia Creatives:

Euphemia Creatives
Tel: 0995-402-3629, 0935-475-1705
Instagram: EuphemiaCreatives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EuphemiaCreatives/

IMPORTANT NOTE: They are parents, and are not slaves to their work. This year, they do not accept regular bookings but provide monthly promos, which include group photo taking sessions in cooperation with LivingDollPh. I think they are well worth the time and effort, and if you can, please find a slot with the power couple. I know you will be as delighted as we are.

 

Mommy Chronicles: How to Raise a Budding Entrepreneur

“One dollar! One dollar!” exclaims my daughter as she tries to sell her wares to my staff from the shop set her grandma gave her today.

She must have learned selling from Ryan’s Toy Review. Either that, or one dollar is too cheap a price for legitimate wares.

Another Mommy asked how to teach kids entrepreneurship a few days before.

My father was an entrepreneur.

My mother was an entrepreneur.

And I later grew up to be an entrepreneur as well.

I don’t really remember my parents actively teaching me how to be an entrepreneur.

So how the heck did I turn out to be one?

It’s the Littlest Most Mundane Details

My father used to teach me about entrepreneurship without me knowing it.

We would go to a restaurant, and we would analyze if this restaurant was profitable or not.

“How many staff are there at the store?” he would ask.

“There’s ten,” I’d answer. And would proceed to count them one by one.

“Good,” he would reply. “If each employee cost php 13,500, how much would the total labor cost be?”

“₱13,500 times ten is php ₱135,000.” The middle school me would answer, pleased that my multiplication tables can now be used.

He continues to ask, “Let’s say rent and overhead which includes electricity is php 60,000, how much is the total cost of running this business?”

“₱135,000 plus ₱60,000 equals php 195,000.” I would answer. This is easier math.

“So let’s say cost of doing business is rounded up to php200,000, how many meals do you need to sell to break even?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, now confused.

“Okay, how much is the price per meal?” He would then ask.

“It’s php 100,” I would answer. “And there’s four of us so that’s php 400 for our table, more or less.”

“Now, if the cost of the food is php 30 per order, that means per meal has php 70 of profit,” he concludes. “If you make php 70 per meal, how many meals do you sell to break even?”

Ahhhhhh…. see the point?

“Cost of business is php 200,000. Divide php 200,000 by php 70 profit per meal, how many meals is that?” He asked.

“2858 meals!” I excitedly answer.

“Now divide 2858 meals by 30 days, how many meals must be sold per day to break even?”

“95 to 96 meals a day, daddy,” I answered.

“Or 50 meals per lunch and dinner,” he would say. “Or around 10 to 15 tables per meal hour. Look around you. Is this restaurant full? How many diners are here on a weekday lunch?”

There was only 4 tables dining. Two had two people, one was a sole diner and there was us, 4 on a table — or 7 people in total.

“The restaurant isnt making money,” he concluded. “It will close down in a few months unless they change something. Anything.”

“How sure are you, daddy?” I asked.

“Do the math,” he said. “And you will know.”

Sure enough, the business DID close down.

It was tragic to see.

I am sure that the owners were well intentioned and had high hopes and dreams when they opened the store, but you can’t fight against the tide if the numbers were against you.

And that was how my dad taught me about entrepreneurship.

Not by reading a book or taking a class.

But by analyzing every business that we come in.

Every single day.

My daughter is only 3 and there’s still more to teach her.

Right now, she’s just selling things for one dollar. Tomorrow, hopefully she’ll be selling more at a profit.

Teaching about entrepreneurship is like building the pink towerZ

You talk to her everday about the most mundane things, and build it up, until years later, without her really knowing it, she inevitably becomes an entrepreneur.

Because this was what her parents did.

Because this was something you guys talked about every day.

Because this was her training.

Because this training became her calling.

And that is how you raise an entrepreneur.

One day at a time.

When your 3 Year Old gets Stubborn

My daughter refuses to finish her lunch because she wants to open up her new gift, a Cinderella castle made of Lego.

So she’s at the floor moping, whining and refusing to eat her lunch.

It’s dirty on the floor, but she doesn’t care. She wants to play Lego with her daddy, and SHE MUST BE FOLLOWED.

Mind you, she just turned 3 last December.

This is going to be fun.

So, we stick it in: No reward if you don’t listen to Mommy and daddy.

She goes around the living room.

She plays with other toys.

She goes to the kitchen.

Crosses her arms and pouts several times.

We push her to eat.

No banana.

Lord, she is stubborn.

She tries to stall, cry, whine and delay the process.

We stick it out.

Today’s our rest day and we have nowhere to go.

Finally, she eats.

She eats hesitantly, still goes around the dining area, but she eats.

And finishes her corn.

“Now Cinderella castle?” she asks me.

“Sure, Cinderella castle,” I replied.

It was an old gift given to her by her grandmother. It’s really for her anyway.

She is happy.

Now, she and her dad play the Lego castle this afternoon.

Sigh, since when did 3 year old kids start to reason out like this? When I was a kid, my dad’s rule was law and everyone simply listened and followed.

My 3 year old has her own mind. She wants to be followed. And she sulks when she doesn’t get her way.

“Mommy and daddy fight with me,” she would say.

Well, she’s 3.

We make the rules, and kids must follow them. And if they don’t, we won’t lift a single finger and give them what they want.

Looks like it’s working. 😇😍❤️

To more fights and adventures ahead!

I Work: Am I a Failure as a Wife and Mother?

It’s very frustrating to be a working wife and mother.

Society still demands you to fulfill your duties as a doting yaya to your child, a neat maid to your household (which includes laba, plantsa and taga-linis ng bahay) and an eager sex partner and a sweet companion to your husband, DESPITE also working at least 8 hours in the daytime to bring home the bacon since husband’s income is not enough to smoothly sustain the family.

After working the entire day, one would wish to have some time to kick back, relax, and do nothing but zone out.

But no. At the end of the day, the husband still wants food on the table (instead of you ordering out), the baby still requires attention, the laundry still needs washing, and the house still needs cleaning.

“Such is a woman’s lot,” my more traditional mom would say. “How can you expect your husband to do woman’s work?”

I saw this meme today which perfectly explains a modern woman’s problem:

This meme perfectly describes me: My husband has changed our baby’s diaper a few thousand times since she was born. He does our family’s laundry since we were married. So apparently, based on this meme, I am a complete and utter failure as his wife and partner. 😦

Great…. just great.

Nobody notices that I have worked all day to ensure the money still comes flowing in. Nobody notices how good I am at work. Nobody notices that the baby is still alive, and my husband has received more comforts in life married to me than not.

Nooooo… the only thing society sees? 

My husband bathing our baby and changing her diaper. My husband doing the laundry, while his wife plops in bed and relaxes. Basically, all society sees is a man, doing woman’s work.

What a tragedy, the worst fate a man should have.

It is a tragedy to be a woman nowadays. A Christian blog writer created a viral post after making a chart on whether women should maintain careers or not. In her chart, “Should Mothers Have Careers,” she makes a strong play that it’s better for women to give up their careers and become full-time home makers for the following reasons:

I am the woman described on the left side of the chart. The Career Woman:

• Who is always away from home the entire day
• Whose childcare is outsourced to others, namely the Lola or the yaya
• Who comes home exhausted, plops in bed and watches Netflix while the home stays in disarray
• Whose dinner is usually microwaved or take out
• Who reads a book before putting a child to bed
• Whose weekends is simply buying basic goods for the week ahead
• Whose intimacy is limited to once a week if any given both she and her husband is tired (hence, the only child problem)

The only thing I did not agree with is the last part — I do NOT believe that my life is falling apart, and I do NOT believe I am a failure as a wife and mother.

It is because of such pessimistic messages that discourages women to be the best people we hope to be. What is the point of studying so hard, striving to get the best jobs, only to give them up once you have a baby or two?

“Yes, I am a proud housewife,” one would say. “Family first. I know my priorities. What is money if I can’t do my best for my kids?”

That’s the problem — We assume that we have to be there for our husband and kids 24/7 in order for us to be happy. As if servicing them is our lifelong noble goal, and we do not deserve to find happiness in our own terms. 

I can’t see that for myself. Not yet, and maybe not ever. Who says that one’s life path should be a full time homemaker and mother in order to be happy?

Why should this be the only path?

Men work all the time, and they’re NOT ostracized for putting their career first.

So why are women judged on a different standards and are seen as failure for not putting their kids and husbands first?

Here’s the clincher, especially in today’s society, what if the woman has better earning power than the men? Does this mean that the man still needs to take the responsibility of being the family’s breadwinners just because society says so? Or, should women take up the mantle and the men stay home with the kids?

I strongly disagree that women should only stay at home. I was not trained that way by my family — My dad has trained me to study hard and earn money — and I do not think I am a failure for never really knowing how to clean the bathroom, do the laundry or iron the clothes.

Why should I do it especially since I can always outsource it to someone else who can do it better than I am?

It’s hard to be a woman. Society deems you a failure if you do not take on the household works. Society thinks you’re a bad wife if your husband takes on what should be your job. But I don’t think that should be the case.

The Bible tells us of The Wife of Noble Character in Proverbs 31:10-31.

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I do not read that a good and noble woman should cook, do the laundry and clean the house. Instead, the actual words is that she “provides” food for her family and give portions to the servants. 

As a working woman, I have provided food for my household. I have paid for our unit’s association dues, our family’s electricity bill and most expenses in our household. Like my husband, I provide for us and make life easier for him and our daughter

The Proverbs 31 woman is a good businessman. She buys a field and plants a vineyard. She EARNS for the family. Her trading is profitable and she works day and night. Even during times of cold, she provides wool for her family. Wool is expensive and requires money. The Bible didn’t say she asked money from her husband. Instead, the Bible said that the woman provided.

Because of who she is, how she acts, and what she does, her husband holds his head up eye and is respected in society.  “Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.” Do you think a man will be respected if his wife was a harlot and an embarrassment?

Actually, reading Proverbs 31, I am encouraged and renewed. The Bible does not look down on busy working women. In fact, it is full of praise, which is appreciated.

I pray that I do not lose too much hope and give up my ministry.

My work provides jobs to at least 40 staff members, mostly women, and I feel that this is how I give back to the Lord. I have seen so many women uplift their lives after being provided a stable job that gives them good income. Many of my employees came from broken families. They were beaten and cheated on by their good for nothing husbands, their children left in the care of their elderly parents. My role here is to keep them employed in the hopes of empowering them to make better decisions for themselves and their families.

I believe that my daughter will benefit in seeing that Mommy is working.

I think being a home maker is equally wonderful and noble, but I do wish my daughter to find her fulfillment in pursuing her passions (which is hopefully income generating), than merely being a cost center to her husband when she grows up.

I wish that Society will be more forgiving to women.

Men have started to lose their manliness and have relegated to the sidelines. More and more men stay on the sidelines of unemployment and depend on their families and their working wives to make money for the family. It is my hope that society can be but fair to women and let them also relax after a hard day’s work especially if they now are bringing home the bacon.

I hope that women would be more supportive of each other.

Everybody’s life and desires are different, so it’s best to respect each other’s life decisions. Kudos to you in wanting to be a stay at home mother, but can you please also be supportive to me as I choose a different path from you?

Lastly, I know I am making the right decision for me.

My father has trained me to make money. I am equally contributing to our household. My daughter is still alive and is doing well in school. My husband grumbles I have less time for him, and wants me to be more service-oriented, but finds a way to show appreciation after seeing the alternative.

I am a working wife and mother. And I am good at it. I hope others would find encouragement to know that it’s okay to work and still be a good mother and partner to your kids. 

Happy weekend!