We are all at the Manila Autosalon to support the husband.
He has a booth at the show, and we have come to give our full support on a Sunday afternoon.
I’ve asked my three year old to pass out pamphlets, and even yaya is there to help. There she is, passing out stickers and marketing collaterals:
Even my mother is part of the festivities. She’s in her 70s but so far, she’s still a trooper:
To be honest, I’m a bit tired.
I’ve been working 6 days this week and had experienced many discouragements at work. Today was a day I could zone out and let my mind breathe a little to try to forget all my problems.
But the Manila Autosalon is merely once a year. It’s the largest car show in the country right now and husband invested quite a bit of money on this marketing effort to promote his company’s new product, ECU reflash.
How can I selfishly insist that my wants and needs be met, instead of supporting him especially at this critical time?
So we are all here to support.
We gather our strength, take a deep breath, and show up. Not only do we show up, but we really show up. We give pamphlets, buy the workers food and drinks and talk to customers.
Because my husband needs us, and with us there, work becomes an enjoyable family effort.
Who says that work and family should be separate?
Husband appreciates this.
He gives me a hug and tell me that he’s glad that we are here for him.
Sure, he’s tired too from four days of talking and entertaining customers. His feet hurt and his voice sore.
But at least we are all here, and he doesn’t need to worry about us anymore.
He doesn’t have to worry about our kid cause she’s here with us, nor does he have to worry about me because I obviously support what he’s doing. I know it’s for our sakes and his family.
What’s more, I don’t have to worry about him and his eyes wandering. Hahaha! There’s a lot of beautiful models at any car show… not that I’m ever threatened. 🙂
A beautiful car show model.
Later on, we will eat a late dinner as a family.
We will talk about our day, he will tell me about his achievements and I will listen to him and give him advice on how he can even do better next time.
Supporting him brings us closer.
We create more shared memories, and on the plus side, husband feels that we are more of a team.
And at the end, that’s what makes marriages stronger and deeper — the fact that you’re a team, working for a common good, building each other up and encouraging each other.
Rest can come next week. I can always find time to rest and recharge.
But my husband needs us. Given that we have a small business, he needs all the help he can get.
So we are all here.
“I’m glad I married you,” he said. “You make me a better man.”
My heart drops a bit whenever my 3-year old strives to be more adventurous for my liking.
She likes to play on the slide. Have the swing pushed stronger than what is fitting for her age.
I imagine her falling and breaking a leg, and it takes some effort not to shout, “Be careful!” whenever she starts a new activity.
Here she is playing on the slide alone. She goes up…
And up on her own…
Cheekily waves when she reaches the top:
Then slides down down down:
Laughing with delight.
As a three year old, my daughter is still full of fun. She doesn’t think about falling down or breaking bones like her mom. For her, she just goes and goes and goes.
I think there’s a lot of things to learn from our kids — Genuinely having fun is one of them.
Letting go and taking some controlled risk is another.
I think the world’s too preoccupied with parenthood nowadays too. There’s too much expectation on out kids and perfection on ourselves that’s going on.
“Don’t touch that!” We would exclaim. “It’s dirty!!!!”
“Don’t go on the floor,” we would shout. “Yuuuucckkkky germs!”
“Be careful,” we would warn. “You might hurt yourself!”
But the thing is, being overly careful removes a lot of the fun. How many kids are raised in a sanitized state that they never really let go and be kids?
“But they’ll get dirty!” We say.
Well, that’s why we bathe them later when they’re madungis (unclean).
“But they might get hurt!”
Well, not if you’re in close proximity and control the environment so they won’t get hurt too badly.
Kids bones also recover faster.
As long as it’s not too high and too fast, some bruises will last only a few days.
What’s more, letting them learn on their own what is safe and dangerous does wonders in improving their decision making skills.
Besides, it’s a better bonding experience than giving them an iPad to pass the time.
Please note, I said, let them play by themselves with supervision. Not to leave them in the playground area alone. That’s just sheer negligence.
But let them play.
Let them be kids, exert some healthy energy and play.
It’s good for the heart, good for some family bonding, and it’s good for developing some skills.
My mother is in her 70s, and boasts of only two grandchildren — one by me, and the other is my brother’s 5 month old daughter.
Much to her annoyance, we married quite late, and while all her siblings has had numerous apos, many of which were sons, she’s just stuck with two.
However, despite not having that many grandkids, my mother showers my daughter with much unconditional love, toys and gifts.
After my daughter was born, my mom who lived elsewhere, would make a trek to my house at least twice a week to gawk and stare at my daughter. When daughter was older, she became more demanding, and the gifts from her loving grandmother kept on coming.
Mothers who believe in the Montessori method will shake their heads in disbelief. My house is full of my daughter’s toys, all bought by my mother for my daughter. She buys from 168 so it’s not that expensive, but since my mom buys ALL THE TIME, it all adds up.
The Marie Kondo method does not work on us, as everything for my daughter sparks joy.
Just last week for example, my mom took my daughter to Toy Kingdom.
After scouring the shelves and playing with the toys for free, my daughter managed to sucker her grandmother in buying the following:
“It’s only Php 1,200 a set,” my mom claimed. “Cheaper than 168!”
The problem was not that it was cheaper, or whether it was affordable for her. The issue was that I already have two kitchen sets at home — one wooden, and the other one plastic.
“But this has a different design!” the insistent grandmother exclaimed. “A small price for happiness!”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I let my mom buy my daughter a toy. This is them with their haul:
I only have one important reason in letting my mom buy this toy for my daughter —
My mom is happy to be a good grandmother to my daughter. Buying for my kid SPARKS JOY to my mom.
My mom is now 70+ years old.
Through the many years, she and my dad worked hard, made sacrifices, and held back on their purchases to ensure that my brother and I have a bright future.
The first time she bought something for herself was 6 years ago, when she asked me whether she should buy sports shoes as she never had a pair. It broke my heart to see my mom never having to buy anything for herself, as she has showered us kids with what should have been hers.
My daughter is just three. She will live longer than my mother.
Hence, my mom only has a few decades to live vs. my daughter. If my mom passes away earlier, my daughter will only have remnants on what type of grandmother she had. If that is the case, one of the best gifts I can give my daughter is that she is unconditionally loved by her grandmother.
My mom has a few years to spoil my child.
Twice a week visits will NOT spoil her as my child lives in our stricter household.
But I do not want to deprive my mom from the joys of grandparenthood.
At the end of the day, our children is ours. My mom is merely borrowing my daughter for a few hours and together, they make each other feel good.
I let her spoil my child now and then. That’s one of the best things of being a grandkid, and a grandmother. It will NOT kill me to let them have their fun.
Here is my mom and my daughter with their haul, walking hand in hand, happily back to the carpark:
I will not be annoyed because she spoiled my child for Php 1,200. It’s just money. And I don’t want to be the killjoy to them both by muttering and complaining to her that she’s spoiling my child.
Instead, I will bask at these photos, seeing them walk hand in hand, knowing that my mom loves my daughter, and my daughter loves her back:
It’s heartwarming and well within my control to give. And this is why I let my mom spoil my child, and let my child sucker my mom.
It won’t be forever, and it’s best to leave your kid with fond loving memories of the grandmother who loves her to death. Because that’s one best gift we can give to our children — the love of the grandparents.
My one wish for my baby is that she will have the love of reading. That’s why, I’ve hoarded many books ever since she was born. We now have a growing library of books for her to read.
However, books can get really expensive. The more you buy, the more expensive it gets. I’ve also noticed how we would always go back to the same books over and over. It makes me think that I would have saved a lot of money if I only focused on the few book essentials, instead of buying every kiddie book I encountered.
Here are the top 10 books my baby loves to read. Maybe, if you are under the budget, you can just stick to these following books that you can read and reread over and over.
This is the first book my baby absolutely loved. There’s something about the repetitive structure of words, the use of vivid colors and imagery that has the baby engrossed.
A bonus? The slide function in every page!
My baby had a LOT OF FUN trying to open the slide. Please buy the one with the Slide Function. Do NOT buy the other book options.
Consolation Prize: From Head to Toe by Eric Carle – The book challenges kids to try to do the same actions as the animals.
Overall, a fun book to read as the child imitates the characters in the book.
The vocabulary is so simple but effective, teaching my child the different parts of the body. The imagery is also so cute as well. My baby squeals whenever she sees photos of different babies. One of the best books for babies.
Note: The other Karen Katz books are not as effective as this one. Save your money and only buy this Karen Katz book.
Have you noticed that many of my baby’s favorite books are lift the flap books? I guess for babies, there is that element of surprise that lies behind every flap. And it brings them great pleasure to anticipate which animal that appears behind every container.
The Story is about a child who writes the zoo asking for a pet. The zoo sends the child a series of animals for pets, which is returned for many different reasons. Finally, the zoo finds the right pet for the child.
It’s important for kids to learn some manners, and there’s no better way to teach manners than by a good story.
This book tells of the story of Alfie, who really LOVES cookies, but cannot find the right way to ask for it. The story ends with Alfie learning that getting what you want may be as simple of having the right manners and asking politely.
The rhymes, the photos, and the story all add to the charm. We absolutely love this book!
The story of Gerald as an awkward giraffe who cannot dance is absolutely endearing. Gerald wants to dance, but can’t. He is mocked by the other animals for his inability to dance. However, he later realizes that the beauty of dance comes more from his own self, and this increase of confidence earns him the praise of the other animals.
There is a rhyme to every page of the story, which makes every page a pleasure to read and re-read. There is also a lesson to be learned, and if done correctly, can increase a child’s self-esteem and will to dance in his/her own drum.
If you can, please buy the large hardbound version. The illustrations are beautiful, and the story sucks you right in.
What Baby Learns: Animals, the Different Dances, and the Importance of Dancing in one’s own Beat
We LOVE this book! There’s something about the way Jane Yolen and Mark Teague construct the story that teaches kids in a fun way on how to eat, how to see the doctor, and how to say goodnight. My daughter loves how everything rhymes and memorizes every page.
The best books in the collection are as follows:
How do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight?
How do Dinosaurs Eat their Food?
How do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon?
The rest of the collection are meh. I have the How do Dinosaurs Learn Colours and Numbers? and How Do Dinosaurs Play with Their Friends?, but the rest of the books are no competition to the first three I mentioned. Save your money and just buy the three best books.
What Baby Learns: Proper Manners and How to Do the Right Thing
A cute little board book, the story introduces the concept of a potty in such a safe and fun manner. It’s about a child who wants to go potty but is afraid to. However, after trying to potty and finding success, everyone celebrates.
I’ve bought the other books by Leslie Patricelli but nothing is better than this book. Stick to the best sellers, mommy!
Out of all the available collections (which I mostly bought), this is probably the best. The collection of book features simple stories that rhyme and are just super fun to read. The book include the following stories so as you can see, if you are traveling and you need only one book to bring, this book is it:
My baby loves to read along. The story repeats words per page in such that it incites mastery. I love it when baby can anticipate what’s going to be on the next page. If you want your baby to increase his/her vocabulary, this is a great book to start.
What Baby Learns: Words that starts with the Letter B
Do you have another books to add? Please let me know! I would love to see if they fit my baby and I. Please comment below.
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BOOKS I FEEL ARE OVERRATED
No, I didn’t forget about these.
I actually have these, but they aren’t really that much fun to read. Maybe because the words don’t rhyme or the story drags, but I have no clue why these books are super popular. They honestly don’t do it for myself and baby.
I call them the Overrated Books: Nice to have but skip if you don’t have the budget. Please note that this is just for my personal reference, so I’m sorry if you love them and I don’t.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle – It’s great but I don’t really get the story of a caterpillar who wakes up and eats a lot of things everyday. A good story, but not best-seller quality.
Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown – Unimpressive illustration, dragging story. Yawn.
Eating the Alphabet by Lois Ehlert
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sedak – I don’t like this book because it features a naughty, misbehaved child who becomes the King of the Wild Things. However, the story is brought to an abrupt conclusion after he misses his mom and returns home.
Harold and the Purple Crayon – What a dragging book. Super long and blah. I couldn’t wait to get it done.
Corduroy by Don Freeman – Great story about a lost bear in the shopping mall. But oh so dragging. Skip!
I caught old yaya on Saturday, asked her to leave on Sunday, and interviewed and hired a new yaya on Tuesday. April 9 was a holiday so maybe that day doesn’t count. Still, it doesn’t hide the fact that I was blessed to find a new yaya quickly when many other mothers were still looking for one.
The last time I looked for a yaya, it took me half a day to find out. This time it took 2 days. I have been very blessed and lucky in finding maids so far.
As to why I can get a yaya so fast while others are still waiting?
1. I have a results oriented mindset.
If I need a yaya, I really NEED a yaya. I will not hee and haw about it anymore.
I will interview every candidate that comes my way regardless on who refers. I will go online and get my applicants on every Wanted Kasambahay facebook page.
My mother in law once told me, “Bonita, find a yaya who will not give me any problems. I don’t want a yaya who is mapili or maarte.”
She still has no yaya up until now.
2. I will hire on the spot.
After I set the interviews, I will talk to the yayas personally. I will tell them about the job and my rules. If they seem maarte or hesitant, I don’t hire them. But if they are okay with my policies, I hire on the spot.
No “Let me talk it other with my husband.”
If she is not okay, I pass. If she is okay, she starts that same day. That’s why recruiters love us. No wasting time.
3. I don’t scrimp on fees.
I paid more than php10,000 of agency fee from my last hire. I didn’t blink and complain that it was expensive. I paid for it after hiring yaya.
I didn’t pay minimum rates. I paid above minimum rates. The amount of money I pay yaya to take care of my child so I can work makes her worth her fee. So I don’t really have a lack of good options.
4. I’m actually a reasonable boss.
So when I lose a yaya, I don’t have a shortage of people to refer. They know that they won’t be embarrassed in linking us up. The last yaya stayed for a good 1.5 years and was able to get her eldest employed and got her two daughters to start schooling again. Not bad for someone who was kicked out of her house when she came in.
5. I’m open to agencies and recruiters.
They are my partners in finding a yaya. They help me find a yaya. I refer my friends to them when my friends are in need. So when I come a calling, they warmly welcome me.
I have compiled a list of questions to ask applicants this time around. I got my yaya on the first interview. Here are the questions I asked yaya during the interview. Hope it helps!
Questions in Tagalog because it’s catered for the yaya. These are some of the questions I used to interview:
SELF
• Love life and anak? Sino ang magaalaga?
• Anong kurso ang pinasok mo?
FRIENDS
• Inimbita ka ng kapwa mong yaya na kumain sa labas habang nasa school ang alaga, ano ang gagawin mo?
FAMILY AND BELIEFS
• Close sa tatay at nanay? Ano ang trabaho nila?
• Siblings? Ano ang trabaho nila?
• Anong pinaka importante na tinuro sa iyo ng magulang mo?
• Nagsisimba ka ba? Saan?
HOBBIES
• What do you like to read?
• Last book you read?
• Anong gagawin mo sa gabi pagkatapos ng trabaho?
PREVIOUS WORK
• Bakit ka umalis sa dati mong amo?
• What food she can prepare for my baby to eat?
Pag gising ang alaga, ano ang ginagawa with the kids?
• Alaga dati? How did they react nang paalis ka?
• Anong naturuan mo sa bata?
*Read one page article*
• Anong pinaka mahirap na experience mo sa buhay?
• Pinagsabihan ka ni lola? Papano na?
• May pinagawa sa iyo na hindi sa job description yon? Ano yon?
• Cellphone use: When pwede mag cellphone?
• Ok lang ba may cctv sa kwarto ng bata para masdan din sa gabi?
• Ok lang ba sa gabi mag mall?
• Pag may party at kasama ang bata, ok lang ba kasama ka din?
• May pagkain ka bang hindi kinakain?
• Anong trabaho ang hindi mo masyadong gawin? Laundry and ibon?
• Pinaka malaking halaga nakita mo or nahawakan mo?
• May kasama kang nagnakaw, ano ang gagawin mo? Paano mo siya isusumbong?
SAVINGS & FINANCIAL MINDSET
• Sapat na ba ang sahod na inaalok namin sa iyo? Kaya mo bang ibudget yan?
• Naka pagvale advance or utang ka? Ok lang sa iyo na hindi pwede dito?
• Magkano ang pinaka malaki mong nabili recently? Magkano po yon?
• Sahod mo: saan mo gagastusin?
DAYS OFF
• 2 days off monthly? If ever how you want to schedule?
• We cannot accumulate day off ok lang ba?
• Pag day off, saan ka pupunta? Pamilya, kaibigan?
• Give occasion na na late bumalik sa dayoff? Ano ang nangyari? Ano ang ginawa mo?
I talked about the Big Bad Wolf Booksale the other day. We were all having a ball scouring through rows and rows of books. My 2 year old daughter kept on putting books to the pushcart while my poor mother and her yaya was putting them back.
I had a small realisation: While we were so excited in finding good books for my daughter, her yaya was bored. Real bored.
This was so different during the Toy Sale when she was also scouring through the different offerings in the hopes of buying her 7 year old daughter the latest Barbie or teddy bear at discounted prizes. During the Toy Sale, she was even more excited than us, and even borrowed money just to do her purchase.
I realized how our priorities are different. Yaya was so gungho in buying her daughter the latest toys and gadgets. I pour the same amount of energies to buying books for my daughter.
Here is her bookcase months ago. She has a lot mote books now. Daughter is super spoiled when it comes to books.
I think it’s these little details that make big differences in a child’s brain. While one cannot control a child’s intelligence or personality too much (we can blame genetics for that), we can however guide our child to what we think is the right direction.
For me, it’s teaching my toddler a love of learning and reading. It’s to appreciate storytelling, expand her imagination, and for her to know that when it comes to books, her Mommy’s purse is open.
My daughter can identify letters from the age of 2. She can count from one to 20. Her vocabulary has expanded. I have her school to thank for that.
To be honest, I realised yaya doesn’t read. During her spare time, she listens to music, check Facebook or call her relatives. Consequently her daughter most likely doesn’t like to read too… not if her toys and gadgets are available.
I want my children to read. I want them to love the written world. I want them to go bonkers on booksales over toy fairs. I want them to treasure studying. That’s why I invest in books. In early learning. This is the difference upbringing makes.
These are the little things that make me happy. It also made me realize that parents must do our part to ensure our kids love to learn, and the way we do it is to expose them as much as possible to books and learning at a young age, so that they will welcome these tools with love as they grow up.
So how about you? Will you invest in a new ipad for your kids? Or books? Hope it’s the latter, because a love for the written word is one of the best things we can teach our child.
I asked my husband the English translation of the Filipino word, “Kupit.”
“There’s actually no accurate English translation,” he said. “But it’s like getting pregnant out of wedlock.”
That’s actually not a good translation. For me, nakupit means to be caught in a net. To be deceived and as a result, was given no choice.
This is what happens to so many men in particular.
They are casually dating a woman, having sex with them like rabbits. They don’t take this woman seriously, but still continue to see them because the milk is free.
I have a lot of friends like that.
When I ask him, “How are you and (girlfriend’s name)?” they will answer, “Oh, we are trudging along. We’re just having a good time.”
When I implore him for more information, he would say, “I’m just enjoying life at the moment. I don’t want anything serious… and she knows that.”
Half a year later…..
SHE’S PREGNANT!!!!!!!
Oh my gosh.
This is the time we say, “Nakupit ang lalake.”
The woman tells the man that she is pregnant. At first, there is disbelief on how the heck she managed to get pregnant when they have been so careful in using protection.
If the girl got pregnant, she knew she was going to get pregnant soon enough, and she did so in the hopes that makupit yung guy.
Women do this a lot. In Taiwan, women used to poke holes in condoms in the hopes of getting “accidentally” pregnant because she wants her playboy boyfriend to settle down with her. While women are still interchangeable when they are single, it’s hard to replace them when they are the mother of your child.
My friend M did that. She was dating a Filipino-Chinese man R and they have had an on-off relationship for months. M is a former model/escort while R was a man of means.
During their breakups and makeups, R cannot stop having sex with M. Stupidly, he believed that she was using protection and didn’t want to get pregnant. That was a laugh.
A few months of constant sex got M pregnant.
R was forced to house her. He bought her a DMCI condominium and had to take care of her while she was pregnant with his child. He still wanted to be free and date around, but technically he is stuck since he got his on-off girlfriend pregnant.
She gave birth last December and R is miserable.
He knows he is stuck but he doesn’t know what to do. In other words, “nakupit siya,” stuck with a woman who was supposed to just be a casual fling, but turned out to be a snake whom he cannot easily get rid of.
My mother’s driver E got his girlfriend pregnant. Ironically, his girlfriend also works in my brother’s firm.
Their relationship has come to the point that his girlfriend was so needy and controlling that E was feeling shackled. He wanted out from the relationship, and would feel irritated whenever he sees her calling.
Then she got pregnant.
Here you go again.
Now, he’s stuck with her.
He can’t dump her while she’s carrying his child without looking like an ass. However, the relationship isn’t really working out and they’re fighting everyday, and yet, they’re now stuck to each other for life because of their child.
Big sigh.
The woman is the b*tch and isn’t a great partner. However he’s stuck now with her because he foolishly believed she won’t get pregnant by choice.
WRONG!
Sigh — so many men get caught with this mistake. And yet, they keep on making the same mistake over and over again. He deludes himself into thinking that if the relationship isn’t working, the woman would rather not get pregnant. He fools himself into thinking that she is smart enough to not want kids when the relationship in trouble.
Quite the opposite: When the woman feels that the relationship is ending, she gets pregnant to ensure its continuity. To keep a man, or at least increase the chance of keeping a man, get pregnant.
Which is why, there are so many pregnancies in the Philippines.
How about you? Do you agree with the concept of kupit? How do you translate kupit to English?
“Why do you even need to celebrate her birthday party? She’s only two,” he said. “She is way too young to remember.”
He sees me buying stuff for her lootbag. I am very happy with my purchase:
From left to right, I’ve prepared a small cute sling bag, ball that lights when it hits the floor, a large coloring book, a Big Book of English Words, a spill proof tumbler, a set of 8 jumbo crayons, plastic letters and numbers, and a spoon/fork/chopsticks set. Basically, stuff I’d like to gift my own child.
It’s always been a pleasure for me to share life’s blessings. I’ve always prided myself as a good gift giving person, so in a way, preparing all of these for my daughter’s classmates/friends also give me joy.
I also bought a simple chocolate cake and took out McDonald’s Happy Meal for the class. Even though they’re still very young, they’re never too young to munch on french fries and drink pineapple juice.
I know that at 2, my daughter may be way too young to remember. However, I still celebrate her birthday because of the following reasons:
1. I want her to remember that her birthday is a day of joy, and she’s worth to be celebrated.
Even as I near mg 40s, I still make a big deal out of my birthday. No matter how husband insists that I not make a big deal out of his birthday, I have always insisted that he makes a big deal with mine.
This reinforces self worth.
You may or may not agree with me, but for one day a year, it’s my birthday, and I get to selfishly celebrate it however I want. Any other day is a non issue, but come my birthday, I want my loved ones to make an effort to celebrate my birth.
So husband makes plans even though he’s more of a spontaneous person.
I get a nice gift that I don’t get everyday.
I eat a nice dinner with people I love and get to choose where to go, with less thought on budget. That’s why I scour blogs looking forward to that one restaurant I can try and splurge on during my birthday.
And I feel very very special at least one day a year.
I want my daughter to insist that her significant other make a big deal out of her birthday too. I don’t want him to take her for granted. So now, while I still can, I will make her feel special on her birthday. So that when I am gone, she will also insist that such tradition is continued.
2. Yes, I want her to feel equal to her classmates.
When I was young, I used to be jealous of my classmate’s new pencilcase. I wanted to hold it because I didn’t have one. At thay time, these types of pencil cases were so damn cool:
1980s babies would know why these were a big deal back then.
No matter what you say, schools can be very cliquish. There are kids who have the new pencil cases and the kids who are looking yearningly over the pencil cases.
There’s always those kids who gave the best parties and the nicest loot bags. We don’t really care who they were, but we waited in anticipation for a birthday invite because we know attending it meant the coolest prizes and lots of nice games.
In short, I don’t want her to be a loser kid.
I want her other classmates to still give her some recognition and to remember that on her birthday, daughter gave her something nice as a token of friendship.
3. It’s also a way of thanks for a year of friendship.
Related to what I mentioned above, I want my daughter to show her appreciation for a year of friendship.
These are her classmates who see and play her everyday. Most of them will eventually be her friends.
On their birthday, my daughter gets a nice lootbag from them, also lovingly painstakingly prepared by the parents. Sometimes, when the parents are there, she also gets some special treat.
My daughter’s birthday celebration is a way for us to give back for everything she’s received the entire year from others. A sort of thank you for everything they’ve done for her. Now’s our time to give back.
4. It’s precious time with my daughter I won’t be able to get back.
I work so I’m mostly very busy in the daytime. Usually, I only have evenings reserved for my daughter.
On her birthday, I make time for her.
I wake up super early to prepare everything.
And while other mothers do this every day, I can’t so I take time on her birthday to celebrate it with her and make it a big deal.
She smiled widely when she saw me.
I know she is happy and surprised when she saw me in school.
“Mami,” she said as she grabbed my hand.
She doesn’t let go of my hand. She’s very happy to see me there.
And that is why I am there to celebrate her birthday. Because no matter how busy we are, we still make time for those special moments.
5. This is one way I show my love.
I may be the most dense and useless mother you may know. But in these moments, I take the time and effort to show her I love her.
Last year, people were asking for advice on what to do when their baby is a picky eater.
My baby, who was super fat at that time, did NOT have this problem. Just by exclusively feeding on my breastmilk alone, baby was considered obese and was scaling at the 96th percentile in terms of weight.
So, my haughty advice for fellow mothers was, if their babies don’t want to eat, then they could just let the babies be.
Anyway, babies being babies will NOT starve to death. When they are hungry, they will find food.
In other words, if baby don’t want to eat…
Ironically, as soon as my baby started to eat solids, her appetite and her weight started falling down.
All she eats now for example is corn, nuts, beans, and a little bit of noodle/pasta.
She refuses to eat when fed. In fact, she would rather be self-fed.
We oftentimes have to convince him to eat or we turn off her TV.
In other words, what I used to chide other parents with, are now the same problems I deal with. Karma is truly a bitch, is it not?
Ha ha ha. Now the joke is on me.
Baby is still alive now, albeit thinner.
Till then, we will just serve her with what she likes. Good thing she likes brocolli!
My uncle is a single parent with an adult daughter.
He was separated from his wife years ago, and has resorted to maintaining a slew of long-term girlfriends. The current girlfriend has been in his life for a decade already.
The sexy and pretty girlfriend is straightforward and hot-tempered. To put it simply, she has a strong personality and wants to be followed all the time. Thankfully, half of the time, she makes sense. Half of the time, the girl seems crazy and unreasonable. She is not beyond destroying household items for example when in a fit.
At first, the daughter was thankful that her dad wasn’t lonely anymore.
There is so much that a daughter can do to offer a father for companionship. Everyone wants to be loved. What’s more, since their ages wasn’t too far away, she was happy to have a sister and protector.
However, as years passed, this fondness turned to bitterness as the girlfriend wanted to become a mother figure and tried to tell the daughter what to do. Right now, after a host of negative experiences, they aren’t close anymore. In fact, they are acrimonious to each other.
Being lonely, my cousin found love online, thankfully, with someone who was dusty blond haired and green eyed.
A cute 20-year old who thankfully has a job and is actually quite attractive. Fortunately, he found her cute too.
The only problem was, he lived in a European country.
So when an invitation came for her to visit him, , my young cousin begged her father for a chance to go. If you are from the Philippines, you will understand that it’s not easy nor cheap to get a Schengen visa.
But after months of begging, the tired father acquiesced. And he himself accompanied his daughter to Europe. And he saw in his eyes how her daughter fell even more deeply in love with the cute European.
The motions have set.
The dude did come for a 2-week visit in Manila.
Talks started for her to move to Europe on a sponsored resident visa.
And they both wanted to try to see if a relationship would work out.
The father cannot do anything to stop it.
Sure, he’s had his share of mistakes.
Maybe it’s the girlfriend so the daughter felt ignored and unheard. Maybe it’s his business that his daughter felt she had no place in Manila. Maybe it’s just the daughter falling in love with a handsome European man.
Regardless, she wanted to leave him and be with her dusty blond boyfriend halfway around the world.
And this is where the father’s love comes in.
IF it was me, I would not give my daughter my blessing nor any financial support to go.
I don’t care if she’s unhappy for the rest of her life, I think she’s making a big mistake by going somewhere halfway around the world, and entrusting herself to someone she knows just by talking over the internet.
Call me crazy but yeah. That’s just me.
If he turns out to be a serial killer or domestic abuser, she does not have the family or financial support to protect herself. She will not be a citizen of that country and will have nowhere to turn to. It’s not like if they live in Manila, even though they are living apart from me, the dude knows that if he fucks her up, we can easily fuck him up, and will then treat her with at least a minimum amount of respect.
But in the European country, she will live with him. If the relationship goes to flames, she will have to find another place to stay. She does not have the same support system as she has back home where she can always just call, and someone WILL be there to somehow protect her. And if she gets pregnant, there is still a family to support her even if the boyfriend leaves.
Alas, she is naive and idealistic and romantic.
And the father loves her.
So despite his better judgment, after her crying and begging him to help her, he supported her getting a visa to live abroad. She is on the final stretch in getting the visa and he cannot do anything to stop her.
I don’t know if she’s making the right choice in moving to Europe. I do not know if my uncle is making the right choice in letting her go. But such is a father’s love for his child.
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