Summer is Here! And so are Summer Classes!

Pre-school just ended this week, and summer has just begun. Apparently, my daughter has 3.5 months of summer break to enjoy before she resumes her regular classes.

Fortunately, so many people are offering a broad variety of summer classes. That’s why, I’m swamped with deciding which activity I am to enroll her. Yipee!!!

While money is no object (since many of the classes are affordable anyway), I have to be more selective on which class to enroll her since I don’t want to tire her unnecessarily.

I still do want her to enjoy summer as she’s only 3 years old. 🙂

Just in case you’re wondering, my decisions are based on five important factors, as follows:

1. Schedule for more convenient Logistics – The classes must fit each other.  I don’t want her classes to be all over the place.
2. Location – It still has to be graphically desirable.
3. Enrolling her must make sense on the type of person I want her to be – Sorry, but I don’t think I’d want her to be a ballerina, so ballet classes while cute, is a no go.
4. Talent – She must have a natural affinity for it. My daughter cannot draw and doesn’t seem to be interested in coloring so no art classes for her.
5. Reviews and Referrals – Which is why I picked two of her classes, CMA and The Reading Station. Both programs come highly recommended by my peers.

To be honest, her learning how to cook or to dance may be cute, but we don’t really think it’s that important at this time.

We can teach her how to cook and bake at home (or at least, wait until she’s a little bit older to appreciate it), and from what I heard, dancing classes at such a young age may not be optimal as other older kids may overshadow her.

In the end, I’ve enrolled her in the following classes, and I’m very happy with my choices. Here they are for your reference:

1. Swimming Classes: Aqualogic Swim Co.

My class of choice is from Aqualogic Swim Co.

Photo Credit: Aqualogic Swim Co.

Swimming is a very important life skill, and I think it’s important for a child to get over their fear of water at a young age. Aqualogic has a lot of venues available, and their Richmonde Hotel Ortigas class is set in an indoor heated pool (I like!).

Rates are also reasonable given how important swimming is as a skill to learn:

We are enrolling our daughter twice a week for the entire summer. It’s easy to enroll them. Simply text their numbers and they’re quite responsive.

To contact them:

Aqualogic Swim Co.
Tel: 0917-858 2782, 0917-703-6386, 02-703-6386

2. Math: CMA Mental Arithmetic

I wanted to enroll her at CMA ever since we conceived our child, but was forced to wait until she was 3 years old before we could enroll her.

This is the class that excited us the most. Why?

Watch and be impressed:

Here’s her assignment for Class 1 — Pairing builds up familiarization to the Chinese Abacus. Even my husband wants to learn how.

After seeing the kids compete in a CMA Competition in SMX, we were sold. We’ve been wanting to enroll her ever since. Can’t believe she’s starting now. 🙂

The rates are also reasonable for me:

Php 4,200 for 8 sessions + Php 2,500 for materials = Php 6,700.00 per month
Makeup classes: 2 classes

To inquire:

CMA Mental Arithmetic
East of Galleria Building, Topaz Road, Ortigas Center, Pasig City
Tel: +63 2 584 9670, +63 917 568 6875
https://www.cma.ph/

3. Reading: The Reading Station

Self explanatory. I believe that books open up a lot of world for kids and so far, I’ve heard a lot of good reviews about The Reading Station. There are a lot of branches available, and I booked the branch that is closest to my husband’s place of work:

Taken from the website, here are the program details:

The Phono-Graphics Reading Program (COURSE LENGTH: 2 1/2 years to 3 years)

COURSE DESCRIPTION

The Phono-Graphics Reading Program also known as the PGRP is a course for Early Reading Literacy. With practice, training and discipline, goals are achieved.

The program is designed for non readers and emergent readers ages 3 1/2 to 7 years old.

Kids who are found to be more than 7 years old but with reading skills covered still in the program are accepted in the center.

Special emphasis is given to decoding, encoding, comprehension and early love for reading.

COURSE GOALS

• Early Reading (Decoding)
• Spelling (Encoding)
• Comprehension Skills
• Vocabulary Build up
• Sentence Construction
• Language Skills
• Basic Paragraph Writing
• Reading Discipline
• Very Early Love for Reading

Rates are a little bit higher but let’s try before we complain — Php 18,000 for 36 hours or 3 months program, at one hour per class.

To inquire, book for an assessment at the branch closest to you:

The Reading Station – Philippines
MAIN BRANCH
Unit C, 109 Scout De Guia, Brgy.,
Sacred Heart, Quezon City, Philippines
Tel: +63 917 100 5252  •  +63 2 358 3337
Branches:  http://www.trs.ph/branches.html
Website: http://www.trs.ph/index.html#about

4. Conversational Mandarin: Bless Learning Resources

This is the first time for me to try Bless Learning Resources but their summer program looks very interesting.

I talked to Teacher Eliza today, and was interested in their conversational Mandarin class. Ideally held 3x a week for the summer period for one hour per class, their conversational Mandarin focuses on words that are regularly used daily like:

“How are you?”

“What’s your name?”

“How much is it?”

It’s a great complement to her now Chinese classes at her preschool.

To inquire:
Bless Learning Resources
Address: 219-6 Biak na Bato corner Makaturing St. Brgy Manresa Quezon City
Tel: 560-4519, 0943-858-3211
Look for Eliza

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I’ve stopped at enrolling my daughter at four since just these alone will give her a busy schedule with two varied classes per day. Here’s her schedule:

• Swimming: 2x a week, 1 hour per class
• CMA Math: 2x a week, 1 hour per class
• The Reading Station: 3x a week, 1 hour per class
• Conversational Mandarin: 3x a week, 1 hour per class

Overall, I’m happy with her choices. I know it looks like a lot, but it’s over a space of 6 days so it’s quite loose.

I will revisit this post after daughter finishes her programs to give you an unbiased review on how good these programs really are.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Mother’s Advice: Do NOT make your kids your world

I am a first time mom. 

Being a first time mom, I can see how easy it is to trap ourselves in being our children’s everything.

Even as a newborn, our kids are treated as kings and queens in our households.

We anxiously cater to our child’s every need.

I remember carrying my daughter and breastfeeding her while I’m at work because she simply refused to be bottle fed. My mom had to buy different brands of bottles to no avail, since my daughter stubbornly insisted that it was either my breast or nothing.

My Friend’s Story: Why She Felt Inadequate as a Mother

“Why can’t anyone sympathize with me?” my friend wailed. “Can’t they see my frustration in trying to do everything for my child?”

At that time, my friend said she had post-partum depression, stemming from the fact that my friend felt that she was an inadequate mother. The core reason was, she couldn’t produce any milk after she gave birth. This was a disappointment for her since she hoped that her child would be breastfed after hearing from many fellow mothers that breast was best.

Unfortunately, the child was not cooperative and refused to eat. So, she felt bad that despite her best intentions, as a mother, she couldn’t even feed her own child.

A lot of her problems stems from the fact that she was putting a lot of pressure on herself. 

All children are different.

Everyone develops and acts differently, and most of the time, many are uncooperative to what we believe they should act, feel or do.

Our fault as a mother lies in the fact that we put too much pressure on ourselves to act a certain way for the good of our child.

The child should eat pureed vegetables once she hits 6 months old!

Well, what if she doesn’t want to eat veggies?

My child should be breastfed!

Well, what if you don’t have any milk? Your child is getting thinner and she needs her sustenance.

They should be walking once they hit 1 years old!

What if they still can’t walk by that time? Would you rush her to a development pedia just to see what’s wrong with her?

Why is my child biting other kids? What’s wrong with me?

Well what if they still can’t control their feelings and this is how they show their frustration when other kids take their toys?

Why is my child not excelling in school?

Many kids are raised differently. The one kid that excels may be tutored every day. It’s not your kid’s fault if he/she is not outstanding this year. There are other years to consider.

We have to stop being anxious and start going with the flow.

Mommies, aren’t our LOVE enough?

Why do we pin our hopes and dreams on our children, and punish ourselves unnecessarily when our kids do not live up to our expectations?

Why do we blame ourselves first when things don’t go our way?

Why do we get sour and get mad at our husband for things beyond his control? Can we please stop telling them to be a parent as if we are the expert in being parents?

We are our kids’ mothers.

We love our kids.

When we love our kids, we should trust ourselves in doing the correct things for them already. When love is present, how can we go wrong?

However, when we stress about our childrearing skills, we create an environment of anxiousness and hostility. We take this out on the people around us, even though they’re not really the core of the problem. Then we feel guilty when we become bitches as a mom, as if we do not control the matter.

We were at Universal Studios Singapore the other day. I brought along our 3 year old with us, and we totally had a blast.

Sure, there were some rides that she couldn’t ride on. The Mummy had a height requirement so my daughter was forced to spend the hour with her grandmother.

When my brother and I took the ride and lined up for 70 minutes, we had a grand time bonding together, and I didn’t worry about my daughter, whom I knew was in good hands.

I was present with my brother when we were falling in line.

I enjoyed the attraction even though my daughter was not with me.

And when I came out of the ride, I saw that my mom was feeding my daughter some coconut and my three year old was playing, not knowing that she was abandoned for an hour while her mom was riding the roller coaster.

Did I have a blast? YES.

Did I feel guilty? NOT REALLY.

Did my daughter pout because I abandoned her? NO, She was having a blast on her own with her grandmother.

Did anyone care because I was riding while I was leaving my kid with someone else? NOPE.

Was the kid alive when I got back. Yes, definitely.

So I think Mommies can take it a bit easy. Trust that you’re being the best mom there is and let yourself go a little bit.

Sure, kids and motherhood can be very stressful.

It’s a new experience and nobody’s ever given us a handbook on how to raise good behaved kids.

We may feel abandoned and alone when we’re going through the process.

We may feel that nobody understands us and everything we do is merely for the sake of our kids.

But before we give our all to our kids, give ourselves some slack first.

Breathe, relax, and re-energize ourselves.

Especially as mother’s give everything to our families, it’s crucial that we also regulate ourselves that we do not deplete our sense of selves, because we’ve been so busy giving our everything to other people.

We should stop laying our expectations to our poor kids and husbands, and just focus on enjoying the process of motherhood, because it’s always so darn short.

We should stop thinking as other people as the enemy, and see them as our partners in taking care of our children. As I’ve said before, it takes a village to raise a child.

So here you go mommy. Here’s my kid to babysit and enjoy. Take her out, buy her toys, and spoil her to death.

I know that others love her and my child will be safe in their care.

I will not be swapang with my own child and keep her as my own.

Instead, while other people are taking care of her and ensuring that she is okay, I will enjoy my time, manage my business, enjoy my life, and still be a good mother to my child when I come home.

Motherhood is difficult as it is. So please, let us cut ourselves more slack.

As long as the baby don’t die, don’t worry. She’s in good hands so long as other people will take care of her.

We support you and love you.

Now leave the child with us and enjoy the ride. 🙂

Your child will thank you for it once you’re back and recharged.

Have a good week everyone!

Why I let Kids Play by Herself

My heart drops a bit whenever my 3-year old strives to be more adventurous for my liking.

She likes to play on the slide. Have the swing pushed stronger than what is fitting for her age.

I imagine her falling and breaking a leg, and it takes some effort not to shout, “Be careful!” whenever she starts a new activity.

Here she is playing on the slide alone. She goes up…

And up on her own…

Cheekily waves when she reaches the top:

Then slides down down down:

Laughing with delight.

As a three year old, my daughter is still full of fun. She doesn’t think about falling down or breaking bones like her mom. For her, she just goes and goes and goes.

I think there’s a lot of things to learn from our kids — Genuinely having fun is one of them.

Letting go and taking some controlled risk is another.

I think the world’s too preoccupied with parenthood nowadays too. There’s too much expectation on out kids and perfection on ourselves that’s going on.

“Don’t touch that!” We would exclaim. “It’s dirty!!!!”

“Don’t go on the floor,” we would shout. “Yuuuucckkkky germs!”

“Be careful,” we would warn. “You might hurt yourself!”

But the thing is, being overly careful removes a lot of the fun. How many kids are raised in a sanitized state that they never really let go and be kids?

“But they’ll get dirty!” We say.

Well, that’s why we bathe them later when they’re madungis (unclean).

“But they might get hurt!”

Well, not if you’re in close proximity and control the environment so they won’t get hurt too badly.

Kids bones also recover faster.

As long as it’s not too high and too fast, some bruises will last only a few days.

What’s more, letting them learn on their own what is safe and dangerous does wonders in improving their decision making skills.

Besides, it’s a better bonding experience than giving them an iPad to pass the time.

Please note, I said, let them play by themselves with supervision. Not to leave them in the playground area alone. That’s just sheer negligence.

But let them play.

Let them be kids, exert some healthy energy and play.

It’s good for the heart, good for some family bonding, and it’s good for developing some skills.

Happy week everyone!

Why I let my Mother Spoil my Daughter

My mother is in her 70s, and boasts of only two grandchildren — one by me, and the other is my brother’s 5 month old daughter.

Much to her annoyance, we married quite late, and while all her siblings has had numerous apos, many of which were sons, she’s just stuck with two.

However, despite not having that many grandkids, my mother showers my daughter with much unconditional love, toys and gifts.

After my daughter was born, my mom who lived elsewhere, would make a trek to my house at least twice a week to gawk and stare at my daughter. When daughter was older, she became more demanding, and the gifts from her loving grandmother kept on coming.

Mothers who believe in the Montessori method will shake their heads in disbelief. My house is full of my daughter’s toys, all bought by my mother for my daughter. She buys from 168 so it’s not that expensive, but since my mom buys ALL THE TIME, it all adds up.

The Marie Kondo method does not work on us, as everything for my daughter sparks joy.

Just last week for example, my mom took my daughter to Toy Kingdom.

After scouring the shelves and playing with the toys for free, my daughter managed to sucker her grandmother in buying the following:

“It’s only Php 1,200 a set,” my mom claimed. “Cheaper than 168!”

The problem was not that it was cheaper, or whether it was affordable for her. The issue was that I already have two kitchen sets at home — one wooden, and the other one plastic.

“But this has a different design!” the insistent grandmother exclaimed. “A small price for happiness!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I let my mom buy my daughter a toy. This is them with their haul:

I only have one important reason in letting my mom buy this toy for my daughter —

My mom is happy to be a good grandmother to my daughter. Buying for my kid SPARKS JOY to my mom.

My mom is now 70+ years old.

Through the many years, she and my dad worked hard, made sacrifices, and held back on their purchases to ensure that my brother and I have a bright future.

The first time she bought something for herself was 6 years ago, when she asked me whether she should buy sports shoes as she never had a pair. It broke my heart to see my mom never having to buy anything for herself, as she has showered us kids with what should have been hers.

My daughter is just three. She will live longer than my mother.

Hence, my mom only has a few decades to live vs. my daughter. If my mom passes away earlier, my daughter will only have remnants on what type of grandmother she had. If that is the case, one of the best gifts I can give my daughter is that she is unconditionally loved by her grandmother.

My mom has a few years to spoil my child.

Twice a week visits will NOT spoil her as my child lives in our stricter household.

But I do not want to deprive my mom from the joys of grandparenthood. 

At the end of the day, our children is ours. My mom is merely borrowing my daughter for a few hours and together, they make each other feel good.

I let her spoil my child now and then. That’s one of the best things of being a grandkid, and a grandmother. It will NOT kill me to let them have their fun.

Here is my mom and my daughter with their haul, walking hand in hand, happily back to the carpark:

I will not be annoyed because she spoiled my child for Php 1,200. It’s just money. And I don’t want to be the killjoy to them both by muttering and complaining to her that she’s spoiling my child.

Instead, I will bask at these photos, seeing them walk hand in hand, knowing that my mom loves my daughter, and my daughter loves her back:

It’s heartwarming and well within my control to give. And this is why I let my mom spoil my child, and let my child sucker my mom.

It won’t be forever, and it’s best to leave your kid with fond loving memories of the grandmother who loves her to death. Because that’s one best gift we can give to our children — the love of the grandparents.

Have a great week ahead!

I deleted Fallout Shelter last week.

Fallout Shelter is a free game that I downloaded to the iPad, and requires you to enough resources to sustain your people inside a fallout shelter.

There’s the basics — Food, Electricity and Water, to keep your people alive.

There’s also the Bedroom and Storage Room to ensure that your people and inventory can grow.

The game engrossed me for HOURS.

To the point that I would leave my daughter with my older iPad so I can play with Fallout Shelter.

Much to my annoyance, my shelter kept on being attacked by mole rats, raiders and fire accidents, leaving many of my survivors dead, unless I generate enough coins to bring them back alive.

After a week of continuous playing on my free time, I decided to delete the game once and for all.

I was spending too much time on it, and I wasn’t being a great mother or wife because of it. I realized that I was growing a gaming addiction, and it wasn’t a good example to show my kid.

After I deleted the game, I read my daughter a book.

Yes, this was much better than playing a senseless game. I was learning nothing, spending a lot of time on it, and I gained nothing from the entire experience except that I was so excited to come home to see if my pregnant survivors has given birth.

Priorities, my friends. Sometimes, you gotta hit yourself hard to re-prioritize.

Especially if you’re in your late 30s. 😦

 

 

 

Highly Recommended: Euphemia Creatives Children Photographers

Last Sunday, I was lucky enough to book at slot with child photographers, Euphemia Creatives.

Boasting less than 1,000 Instagram followers to date, Euphemia Creatives is one of those underrated suppliers who is still relatively unknown, but is so talented that you cannot help but gush about to anyone who would listen (even though it’s so tempting to just keep quiet and keep them to yourselves).

However, I was so impressed by their output that I think it’s but fair to share the love and joy.

The couple is unassuming and humble.

When we met at the UP Diliman, I was relatively unimpressed by the scenery: UP Diliman is not the cleanliest of venues, but it was free, and at the right hands, is a beautiful backdrop for photos.

We met last Sunday, February 17, at 3:00 pm at the UP Stone Markers.

Check out the scenery as we were making our way to the photo site:

Sir Jommy and Ma’m Mowina are a young couple that make up Euphemia Creatives.

I found them to be very low-key, chillax, and uber nice photographers.

Unassuming, is the best word to describe the couple.

Check out the photos of our shoot just to see how relaxing the entire experience was:

  

Ma’m Mowina was there to talk to my daughter, give directions and hold the reflector.

Sir Jommy was there just snappin’ away like a boss.

To be honest, given how chill everything was, I had doubts on the type of output the team would create. Given the location and the fact that my daughter was NOT a professional model, I had low expectations on the type of photos we would get that afternoon.

However, that’s where you just have to trust your suppliers.

There is a reason you booked them in the first place. So even with my doubts, I let them do their stuff. Sure, I hung back and tried to help, but it was magical to see how they handled my daughter and made her cooperate.

I think one important factor is the care and respect Sir Jommy and Ma’m Mowina treats their clients — the kids they are actually taking photos of.

Sir Jommy was so nice and talked to my daughter like an adult. They gently encouraged her to pose, while remaining true to herself.  Here is the Euphemia Creatives team showing my daughter how pretty she is on camera:

I was sincerely touched.

Many photographers think of the kids as a job and source of income. Many photographers would not talk the way Sir Jommie did to our daughter.

Our session was an hour, with a maximum of three outfits. Thankfully, the weather cooperated, and while hot, it was still bearable. Surprisingly, we kept to the time and we were finished by around 4:15pm.

The Euphemia Creatives team promised us the photos by that evening. To our surprise, they uploaded the link to Google Photos, and we were BLOWN AWAY by the quality of their work.

As I’ve said, here were the photos that I took on the day itself. I show this to you to highlight what a mommy photo would look like vs. how a pro would do it:

These were their raw and unedited photos:

I would just let the results speak for themselves.

Across the board, just by looking at the raw and unedited photos, we knew we discovered an absolute treasure. Sir Jommy’s hit ratio was high: Every photo was beautifully taken, and captured the fun and naughty essence of my daughter.

 

Sir Jommy’s talent is undoubted, and we are so so so pleased with the result. Hence, which is why, I’m making this special review to sing their praises.

Honestly, it was so difficult to choose just 20 out of the 487 raw photos they asked us to choose from. Out of the 487 photos, I had to slim it down to a difficult 150 photos. And from them, I had to pick 20 photos for final edit!

I will be sending the 20 photos I picked today to Euphemia Creatives for final editing. I cannot wait to see the final result in 2 weeks time.

Just for your reference, here are some of their finished works:

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To the Euphemia Creatives husband and wife team

Thank you so much for honoring our appointment, and for the beautiful photos. I am sincerely touched by your effort, impressed by how you handled my child, and blown away by your talent.

Hopefully, my review will help in bringing you more business. My only simple request is that if and when you become uber popular, please still give us a slot if we book ahead of time. I know that you will be soon to be stars in the child photography industry, and I hope you will never forget your humble roots, and let your work simply speak for itself.

Photo session details:
Venue: UP Stone Marker
Age of Daughter: 3 years old – so can follow directions
Outfits: From Hailey & Co., and The Living Doll PH

To book Euphemia Creatives:

Euphemia Creatives
Tel: 0995-402-3629, 0935-475-1705
Instagram: EuphemiaCreatives
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EuphemiaCreatives/

IMPORTANT NOTE: They are parents, and are not slaves to their work. This year, they do not accept regular bookings but provide monthly promos, which include group photo taking sessions in cooperation with LivingDollPh. I think they are well worth the time and effort, and if you can, please find a slot with the power couple. I know you will be as delighted as we are.

 

Mommy Chronicles: How to Raise a Budding Entrepreneur

“One dollar! One dollar!” exclaims my daughter as she tries to sell her wares to my staff from the shop set her grandma gave her today.

She must have learned selling from Ryan’s Toy Review. Either that, or one dollar is too cheap a price for legitimate wares.

Another Mommy asked how to teach kids entrepreneurship a few days before.

My father was an entrepreneur.

My mother was an entrepreneur.

And I later grew up to be an entrepreneur as well.

I don’t really remember my parents actively teaching me how to be an entrepreneur.

So how the heck did I turn out to be one?

It’s the Littlest Most Mundane Details

My father used to teach me about entrepreneurship without me knowing it.

We would go to a restaurant, and we would analyze if this restaurant was profitable or not.

“How many staff are there at the store?” he would ask.

“There’s ten,” I’d answer. And would proceed to count them one by one.

“Good,” he would reply. “If each employee cost php 13,500, how much would the total labor cost be?”

“₱13,500 times ten is php ₱135,000.” The middle school me would answer, pleased that my multiplication tables can now be used.

He continues to ask, “Let’s say rent and overhead which includes electricity is php 60,000, how much is the total cost of running this business?”

“₱135,000 plus ₱60,000 equals php 195,000.” I would answer. This is easier math.

“So let’s say cost of doing business is rounded up to php200,000, how many meals do you need to sell to break even?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, now confused.

“Okay, how much is the price per meal?” He would then ask.

“It’s php 100,” I would answer. “And there’s four of us so that’s php 400 for our table, more or less.”

“Now, if the cost of the food is php 30 per order, that means per meal has php 70 of profit,” he concludes. “If you make php 70 per meal, how many meals do you sell to break even?”

Ahhhhhh…. see the point?

“Cost of business is php 200,000. Divide php 200,000 by php 70 profit per meal, how many meals is that?” He asked.

“2858 meals!” I excitedly answer.

“Now divide 2858 meals by 30 days, how many meals must be sold per day to break even?”

“95 to 96 meals a day, daddy,” I answered.

“Or 50 meals per lunch and dinner,” he would say. “Or around 10 to 15 tables per meal hour. Look around you. Is this restaurant full? How many diners are here on a weekday lunch?”

There was only 4 tables dining. Two had two people, one was a sole diner and there was us, 4 on a table — or 7 people in total.

“The restaurant isnt making money,” he concluded. “It will close down in a few months unless they change something. Anything.”

“How sure are you, daddy?” I asked.

“Do the math,” he said. “And you will know.”

Sure enough, the business DID close down.

It was tragic to see.

I am sure that the owners were well intentioned and had high hopes and dreams when they opened the store, but you can’t fight against the tide if the numbers were against you.

And that was how my dad taught me about entrepreneurship.

Not by reading a book or taking a class.

But by analyzing every business that we come in.

Every single day.

My daughter is only 3 and there’s still more to teach her.

Right now, she’s just selling things for one dollar. Tomorrow, hopefully she’ll be selling more at a profit.

Teaching about entrepreneurship is like building the pink towerZ

You talk to her everday about the most mundane things, and build it up, until years later, without her really knowing it, she inevitably becomes an entrepreneur.

Because this was what her parents did.

Because this was something you guys talked about every day.

Because this was her training.

Because this training became her calling.

And that is how you raise an entrepreneur.

One day at a time.

When your 3 Year Old gets Stubborn

My daughter refuses to finish her lunch because she wants to open up her new gift, a Cinderella castle made of Lego.

So she’s at the floor moping, whining and refusing to eat her lunch.

It’s dirty on the floor, but she doesn’t care. She wants to play Lego with her daddy, and SHE MUST BE FOLLOWED.

Mind you, she just turned 3 last December.

This is going to be fun.

So, we stick it in: No reward if you don’t listen to Mommy and daddy.

She goes around the living room.

She plays with other toys.

She goes to the kitchen.

Crosses her arms and pouts several times.

We push her to eat.

No banana.

Lord, she is stubborn.

She tries to stall, cry, whine and delay the process.

We stick it out.

Today’s our rest day and we have nowhere to go.

Finally, she eats.

She eats hesitantly, still goes around the dining area, but she eats.

And finishes her corn.

“Now Cinderella castle?” she asks me.

“Sure, Cinderella castle,” I replied.

It was an old gift given to her by her grandmother. It’s really for her anyway.

She is happy.

Now, she and her dad play the Lego castle this afternoon.

Sigh, since when did 3 year old kids start to reason out like this? When I was a kid, my dad’s rule was law and everyone simply listened and followed.

My 3 year old has her own mind. She wants to be followed. And she sulks when she doesn’t get her way.

“Mommy and daddy fight with me,” she would say.

Well, she’s 3.

We make the rules, and kids must follow them. And if they don’t, we won’t lift a single finger and give them what they want.

Looks like it’s working. 😇😍❤️

To more fights and adventures ahead!

Teaching Resilience Early

Today is the Sunday before Halloween. SM Megamall has a grand Barbie party and it’s packed.

We couldn’t get it so we tried for the next best thing — Trick or Treating!

This was the best we can do provided that she didn’t want to wear her beautiful Anna costume. She would have looked like this if she was more compliant:

But I digress…

I think every mother should join the mall trick-or-treat activity.

For one, not every tenant gave away candy. So it was honestly an amazing lesson of kapal ng mukha (having a thick skin) and resilience.

I encouraged her to go to every single store and ask for trick or treat, even though there was no treats. Personally, I think it’s a great way to teach kids to ask… even when the answer may be no.

So she went into every single store in the area:

We went into stores that had nothing to do with kids or candy.

We even tried asking for candies at BDO.

And no, as per expected, they had no candy. Oh well, it was great to try.

And for most stores, the kid came away sad and dejected.

But for many other stores, there was candy to be had! Hooray!

Who knew that there were candies at Under Armour, but they did!

Trick or treating is similar to life: It’s full of disappointments and rejections. That’s why, it’s a great place to bring your kids to this mall activity.

But hey, if you don’t ask… you don’t get.

So why not ask?

There’s no harm to ask. 🙂

Mall activities like these also teach kids to be patient. Especially when you have to fall in long lines.

Here we are lining up for Toy Kingdom’s trick or treat activity:

Yes, it’s a hassle to fall in line. And sure the child does get bored.

But life is all about waiting for our turn for the rewards that will come next.

It’s not really about Insta-pleasure, but rather, good things come to those who wait.

Halloween is my daughter’s favorite yearly activity. She loves trick or treating even though she gets more tricks than treats.

But it’s also a lovely place to teach some of life’s best lessons such as:

• That you need to learn in waiting for one’s turn. Don’t be a bully.
• That good things come to those who wait.
• That it’s ok when people reject you. Sometimes even before you enter their store.
• That you still have to ask in an orderly manner, one store after another so you will cover more ground.
• That if you keep on asking, eventually, someone will give you that break you need.

See? That’s why trick or treating is so much fun!

Till next year!

Mommy Guilt and Being a Bad Mother

When I see perfect mothers on the Internet, who fuss about how to correctly clean their baby bottles and sterilize their house, I feel a bit guilty.

As a working mother, I am usually pooped after work. After the stress of being in the office the entire day, the only thing you want to do is to hug your daughter, who has already been bathed, had her diaper changed, and ready for some love. I honestly do not want to bathe her after a hard day’s work. That’s why I’ve hired a good nanny, is to get my baby ready for me when I go home, already full, clean, delicious smelling, and happy.

“You’re a bad mother,” my husband would chide me. “Most mothers would have changed their baby’s diapers a few thousand times after birth. You, on the other hand, has only changed her diaper less than 10x in her lifetime.”

This is actually true. And I have only bathed her a maximum 3x since she was born.

There is no excuse. In society, a mother is expected to unconditionally love her offspring, and sacrificially cater to their every whim. You are to feed them, bathe them, clean them, change them, comfort them, play with them, clean up after them, and be their slave, until the time they closed their eyes to sleep.

No wonder most moms lose sleep until their kid is 3 years old!

The funny thing is that society expects men to help out, but not to sacrifice to the extent that women do for their kids. My husband is already considered a great father just by knowing how to change her diaper.

Apparently, there is a double standard —- if a man does it, he is hailed a hero. If a woman does it, that’s because she’s just doing her job as a mother.

I have always been taught how to work. As a child, my parents freed up my schedule so I have the time to study and excel in my academics. The logic is, if I have high grades in school, I can have a high paying job, and then, I have the money to outsource the most mundane tasks in life.

So that’s who I am — While I did my own laundry on my first year of independence, I have afterwards paid other people to do my washing and cleaning. My thought is, if I did it, it will take me 3 hours to hand wash a week’s worth of laundry. If other people did it, and given that they are good at their jobs, they can do it for 25% of the time, and all it cost me is Php 70.00 per kilo of dirty laundry.

The time that I save to do the laundry buys me the luxury of doing something I really want to do. Instead of cleaning the toilet, I can go out, window shop, and relax. Or if anything, I can always just lie down, close my eyes and sleep.

This is great when you’re single.

But not after having children.

And this is my dilemma — Once you become a mom, you are expected to shed your self, and embrace the most noble role of all, BEING A MOTHER.

When you think of a mother, you think of a woman who is there all the time.

Who is your counselor, ready to comfort and swoop in whenever you fall.

A mother is the cook: Someone who prepares your breakfast, lunch, merienda and dinner.

A mother sacrifices. She gives the biggest slice of the pie to the father, and the next biggest to the kids, leaving few for herself.

Above all, a mother is supposed to look good. Think Stepford wives. Someone who does all the things in the household, and still manages to blowdry her hair and don high heels all for the service of the husband.

I am far from being the perfect mother, and from being a sexy Stepford wife.

I have resorted to tying my hair in a ponytail to get it out of the way. I wear dowdy nursing dresses because it’s easy to comfort my exclusively breastfed baby. I have gotten rid of the high heels and have worn comfortable Crocs so I can walk faster.

Honestly, this is what society expects me to look like:

This is exactly what I mostly look like every day.

My husband is lucky I still wear makeup.

I also work the entire day. I have outsourced the daily basic care of my child to that of our yaya/nanny, and have compensated her properly for it.

I have given the responsibility of taking my daughter to and fro kindergarten to our nanny and driver, who takes her from my arms at 7:30am and gets her to school. The driver drives them, and she waits outside for baby to finish school at 10:30am.

When I wake up, my baby is already in school. I dress, and go to work and I am at work up until around 8:00pm. Since I manage our family business, my baby sometimes join us after her school and she watches Youtube and plays with the Yaya while occasionally coming to me to nurse.

Otherwise, I pretty much ignore my baby throughout the day. The only time we really spend time together is during Sundays, my rest day, where my husband and I play and spend time with our daughter.

Yes, I am considered as a bad mother. 

I am a bad mother because I cannot wholly devote myself to my daughter. I am a bad mother because I have outsourced her basic care to a third party. I am a bad mother because I justify the lack of attention I give her by saying that I do this to work, so that I can help out my husband and provide for our family.

If that is the case, I am proudly a bad mother.

I know I am not perfect, and I know I should be more sacrificial and unconditional towards my child. I know that there are many other better mothers than I am, who really kill themselves fussing over their children and still look good while doing so.

But what can I do?

How can I look good if I don’t have the time. I have not cut my hair for over a year because I have no time to go to a salon.

How can I send my child to school at 7:30am if I am tired? The extra hour of sleep is precious to me, and if my yaya can capably do the job, why do I even need to be there to fuss?

How can I devote the time to teach my child if other things warrant my attention? That’s the reason why we have spent thousands in tuition getting her the best education. I know that education starts at home, but if the school can do it capably, then why can’t I trust them to do their job?

I know I have failings as a mother. I know that other mothers are far more capable than I am. And yet, I still feel comforted by justifying my actions by saying that while I fail in providing for her most basic needs, I can still capably raise a kind above average child by affording her all of life’s comforts.

Because I work, I can afford her the best schools and the best care.

My daughter’s kindergarten is expensive, but worth it. Her nanny is paid 3x the minimum wage. When it comes to academics and attention, she is never in lack.

Because I work, our time together becomes more valuable.

Despite my work, I still spend all my evenings and Sundays with her. My daughter patiently waits until her mommy finishes work, then she takes comfort that it’s already HER time. Then she really becomes sweet and makulit. Because she knows that time together is limited, my daughter does make the most out of it.

Because I work, she is more independent.

I don’t have a lot of time to deal with fussiness. I don’t like to hover, and will just naturally let her do her own thing. I think this is good for her. Since mommy isn’t always there to help her out, my daughter figures things out by herself. This makes her more independent, which is great.

Because I work, my knowledge of the world and of society has expanded. And she knows she is being raised by a smart mom.

I have so much knowledge to impart on her. If she comes to me for advice, my daughter can receive relevant information because I have stayed up to date with the news and trends. Actually, a lot of the mothers come to me for advice. What more my daughter?

Because I work, I help other people.

We employ around 40 people, and help out around 40 families as a result. My daughter will feel proud one day knowing of all the people we’ve helped. And even though we are not rich, she will take great comfort in knowing that we’ve made a difference in the lives of so many people.

Lastly, because I work, I have my own identity. And given that I have a daughter, I hope that she herself will be able to stand in her own two feet when she grows up, and feel proud of what she’s become.

When people see me, they don’t call me my husband’s wife. They don’t call me my daughter’s mother. They call me by my real name. They recognize me by the work that I do. And they know what I represent.

And while I am my husband’s wife, my daughter’s mother, I am fortunate that I do not merely identify myself as such, as if these are my only two identities. Instead I am proud that I have an identity to call my own, and proudly so.

As a second generation working mother — my own mother worked too — I feel proud knowing that I am raising a daughter who will grow up to have her own voice. If mommy can do it —- raise a family and work —- then I can do it too! And nowhere should she feel bad because she’s doing something for herself.

So yes, call me a bad mother if you want. Admittedly, I AM a bad mother on the most traditional sense of the word.

But bad or not, I know I am still on the right track. And what I do will eventually vindicate me and make my daughter proud of me. I know that my daughter wishes that I am home more often, but one day, she will see the light: That her mother did everything for her, for herself and for everyone else.

So instead of being ashamed on why I am not doing more for the child, let’s twist this a bit and see what I see. I have no time to be ashamed of being a working mother. Because of my work, I can raise my family comfortably. I can provide employment to more than 40 people. And I can feel proud for who I have become and what I stand for.

Given that, should I be ashamed for being me?

No, by that definition, I am proud to be a bad mother. And you should be too.

Goodbye mommy guilt!