What to do if you found your yaya on Facebook

Congrats, you found your first yaya on Facebook!

Not only do you save money from paying hefty agency fees, you most likely found the yaya of your dreams who will be loyal to your family, take good care of your child, and is literally a Godsend.

But wait, you’re afraid to take the jump.

You’re worried that there’s no employer referrals for you to base your trust on. You’re worried she might endanger your baby. You’re worried that she’ll wear your clothes and post them on Facebook. And you’re worried that she’ll steal from your family.

All of these are very valid concerns.

There are so many bad yayas stories out there that there’s a closed Facebook group called Bad Maids PH for all the bad yayas stories happening in the Philippines.

I have found yayas on Facebook. 

When my old yaya suddenly left last December 2018, I scoured online for her replacement. The first yaya Arlene stayed for 6 days. Here’s my post on how elated I was when I first got her.

I continued my search after she told me after 6 days of work that her husband had an emergency and she had to cater to his needs for 24 hours before returning to work. Despite initially agreeing that her first day off would be after a month of service, she asked me for an immediate day off before the week was done.

I asked her to pack her belongings, paid her for 6 days of work and asked her to sign a quitclaim. Attached is my quitclaim here.

The second yaya I found within 2 days.

Sharon was happy and optimistic, but couldn’t stand the hours. She said she had a headache and needed to cater to her daughter’s pageant. I think it was more of family reasons that she left. She called it quits in 11 days time.

The third yaya I found after Sharon told me that she wanted to leave, but would respect the 30 day notice period, which we had under contract. I once again looked online, and found Zeny on Facebook.

Here are my Top 10 Tips in Finding a Yaya Online.

Yaya Zeny is still with us and our daughter is happy with her. Her daughter took care of the pamasahe from Mindoro to Manila, and so far, despite being older, she’s a pretty decent yaya whom we entrust to take our child to school and back, feed her, and make sure she doesn’t die.

My instructions to a prospect yaya is very simple, “Huwag gutumin. Huwag walain. And huwag patayin.”

After three yayas found on Facebook, all I can tell you is,

1. Have them sign an employment contract as soon as they start.

Make sure that you discuss with them all the details of their employment and rules of your household BEFORE they start working for you.

Attached is the Contract for New Yayas for your reference: New Maid Contract – Generic.

Personally, my rules are very clear as follows:

• No cash advance, bale or padala pamasahe. Crying about a family tragedy won’t work in me giving them pautang. If there’s a family tragedy, we will help out of the goodness of our heart,  but not because they asked for it.
• No cellphones while on duty.
• No emergency day offs. Sundays as preferred rest days. They have to inform me a few days before when they will day off so we can arrange our schedules accordingly.
• Doing the laundry via washing machine are part of their job descriptions. There’s just three of us in the family and no ironing is needed. But I don’t like yayas who tell me that they should only be responsible in childcare and that’s it.

2. Observe them closely on the first few days. 

I always keep an eye on the new yaya when they first start. I look at their working attitude, eating preferences, etc. and determine if I like them or not.

We like going to the malls and the yaya chooses to chase after my daughter when this happens. I do NOT stupidly let the yaya take care of my child alone when she’s new.

I would accompany them, keep an eye on the yaya, and see if there’s any red flags I should watch out for.

I look at yaya’s body language and attitude to see whether she likes her job and my child. Some yayas only accept this job due to the high pay but care nothing of my child.

The best yaya is someone who will eventually hug and show true concern for my child. You can see it if you open your eyes.

Be wary of the yaya who keeps her distance from your child.

Only leave the yaya alone with the child without any supervision after you feel comfortable, and not before. If your mommy gut feel shows serious reservations — like there’s something wrong with the yaya — follow your gut feel and observe yaya even more.

3. Do NOT believe what the yaya tells you all the time. Trust only after it’s earned, NOT before.

Yayas will lie.

For example, when I was looking for yayas, I’ve had 3 applicants who told me that they would show up but didn’t.

Literally, you’ve already set the day and place and time of arrival, and for some reason or another, they do NOT show up. One yaya even showed me the photo of her packed belongings to show that she’s ready to start, but couldn’t because her child got sick.

It is useless to concern yourself about their excuses. Watch what they do, NOT what they say.

It is useless to argue with a yaya. If you see a yaya who do not do what they say, get rid of her and move on to the next applicant. If she can’t keep her word in the beginning, she will be like that in the future.

Stop worrying about useless things and just move on.

4. Terminate with pay if you don’t like them.

While it’s hard to find a yaya nowadays, you should not tolerate a yaya’s bad attitude and misbehavior just because you’re desperate.

Like for example, Yaya# 1, it was annoying for me that she asked for a rest day within 6 days of employment when it was clear from the get go when she should have her first rest day. I thought that she’s already taken care of the husband and her household before starting to work, but I guess I was wrong.

I was also okay with Yaya# 2’s leaving after she brought up her concern. She liked me, but she was not fit to be a yaya anyway. So as long as she carried out her 30-day notice period, I was fine with her leaving. In the end, I allowed her to leave at 11 days with pay, after I found my next yaya Zeny.

Make sure that you have them sign the voucher proving that they’ve received their last pay and a quitclaim. Here’s my quitclaim for your records. This is the QuitClaim – Generic word document.

Once they sign the quitclaim and get their last pay, exit them from your house swiftly.

IMPORTANT: Make sure you investigate their bags thoroughly and escort them out of your gate before letting them go. Accompany them when they leave your house.

Many yayas pack a separate bag and leave it by the gate. Once you check their bags, they then get this separate bag before leaving your house.

5. Repeat the process if necessary.

I have probably reviewed 30+ bio-data, interviewed more than 10 yayas and suffered many disappointments in a day before I found our Yaya Zeny.

Here were my notes on the initial few days — as you can see, finding a yaya takes a lot of time and effort:

These were the yayas I said no to after I interviewed them:

Like any endeavor, finding a yaya takes a lot of time and effort.

The biggest mistake any mother makes is to assume that you do NOT need to give a lot of effort, and a good yaya will come on its own.

“I will just wait for a referral para sigurado,” that mommy would say. They would pester you for referral and justify their lack of yayas by saying that all yayas are bad, and it’s better that she take care of her child na lang than to have a bad yaya.

Actually, there are many good yayas out there. You just have to go and look for them. If you do not make an effort, how can you find a yaya?

Years has passed and she alone is taking care of her child(ren) with no help in tow. Then she will just sigh and pat herself in the back for stepping up because no other yaya can take care of her daughter as well as she did.

I work. I don’t have that luxury. I need a yaya for my daughter. So I look and look. I make a career out of looking for a yaya.

As you can see from my notes, I put in the effort in looking for a yaya, scouring the Internet and agencies for them, interviewing them, and being disappointed when I don’t work out. I have good relationships with agencies since they also provide me with a good pool of yayas when I need them.

At the end of the day, I am almost always rewarded for my hard efforts. Thanks to God, barring Christmas season, I can usually find a yaya within a week of looking.

But that’s because I put in the effort.

Are you putting in the effort?

BONUS TIP: When you find a good yaya, take good care of them. The best way to find a good yaya is to not lose a good yaya.

I know in my heart that any yaya would be so lucky to start in my household.

We pay our yayas well. Treat them with respect. And are considerate of their needs without letting them be abusive of your kindness.

With us, they can really save money. Every yaya that came out from our employ always brought a lot more bags than they first arrived. Which is why our old yayas do ask to be taken back after they’ve left as follows:

Even though I was so desperate for a yaya, I didn’t ask her back. I tried to ask help from the agencies and scoured online to look for a new one.

And after many days of trying, we found our yaya.

I hope that this helps you in finding a good yaya for your child(ren). Good yayas are out there. All you do is have hope, make an effort, and try and try until you succeed.

Good luck Mommies!

Format: Quit Claim for Departing Yayas

RELEASE WAIVER AND QUITCLAIM

KNOW ALL MEN BY THESE PRESENTS:

That I, (Yaya Name), Filipino, of legal age, a resident of (Yaya Residence Address), and formerly employed with (Employer’s Name), do by these presents acknowledge that I have already received my full payment and final settlement of the (financial assistance or separation pay, overtime pay, salary or salaries, wage or wages, commutable sick and vacation leaves, gratuities or any kind of compensation or emoluments) due to me or which may be due to me from (Employer’s Name) under the law or under any existing agreement with respect thereto, as well as any and all claims of whatever kind and nature which I have or may have against (Employer’s Name), arising from my employment with (and the termination of my employment with) (Employer’s Name).

In consideration of this agreement, I do hereby acknowledge this quitclaim, and will waive any and all actions of whatever nature, expected, real or apparent, which I may have against (Employer’s Name).  I will institute no action, whether civil, criminal, labor or administrative against (Employer’s Name). Any and all actions which I may have commenced either solely in my name against (Employer’s Name) are hereby deemed and considered voluntary withdrawn by me and I will no longer testify or continue to prosecute said action(s).

I declare that I have read this document and have fully understood its contents.  I further declare that I voluntarily and willingly executed this Release, Waiver and Quitclaim with full knowledge of my rights under the law.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand at Current Address, this ___ day of (Month) 2019.

_______________________________________
(Yaya Complete Name)

SIGNED IN THE PRESENCE OF

_______________________        ______________________

I also use this document for all other employees departing our employ. Word Document can be downloaded here: QuitClaim – Generic

Additional: 10 Tips in Looking for a Yaya Online

10 Tips in Looking for a Yaya Online

As agencies have increased their fees to now Php 6,000 to Php 18,000 for every successful referral, there is a need to be more self-sufficient in finding yayas on our own.

“But I would rather wait to get a referral from someone I know,”  some mommies would say. “At least they can be trusted and not steal.”

Well, many mommies end up NOT having a yaya anymore, and end up taking care of their own kids themselves.

I don’t have that option. I work full time, and I need to take care of our business. I need a yaya, and am willing to do whatever means necessary to get a yaya, including opening myself up online.

Anyway, even the best yaya agencies source their yayas online. So why not if possible save on the fees and search online as well?

Over the last month, I have interviewed at least 10 serious applicants for the yaya position, hired 3 and browsed through at least 25 applicants. I am no expert, but at the end of this adventure, I have done more interviewing of yayas than I should in a lifetime.

Here are my tips in searching for a Yaya Online.

1. Hire someone who is at between 28 to 60 years old.

If the yaya is too young: If the yaya is only 17, you would need parental consent before allowing her to come and work for you.

If she is between 18 to 21, she is only coming to you for experience and really isn’t serious about working. My sister in law’s yaya is 18, and spends a lot of her evenings talking to her partner, making her always exhausted when working the next day.

Her last newborn yaya who was still looking for love got pregnant by the houseboy. The baby is expected to come out mid this year. Maricel only stayed for 1.5 months, got pregnant, and is not at home resting as she doesn’t want to work anymore.

If the yaya is too old: They tend to be slow, forgetful and sometimes stubborn. You have to be patient and repeat your instructions in a very clear manner. If they are wrong, you can’t shout at them, but have to talk to them in a still respectful manner.

Since I am looking for a yaya to my 3-year old daughter, I need someone who can keep up with her. This means that I cannot find a yaya who is too young (who will only look at the cellphone) or too old (who cannot run around with her).

It’s the Goldilocks principle. For yayas, you cannot get them too young, or too old. They have to be just the right age.

The right age varies from employer to employer. For me, it’s 28 years old to 55 years old.

At 28 years old, they have most likely had 1-2 kids from 1-2 different fathers, so they’re less likely to have more children since the realities of taking care of a lot of kids are more real to them.

A yaya in her 30s are already more serious in finding a job for keeps since she has mouths to feed and she understands that her husband’s income is insufficient in providing for her family. She works because she loves her kids. If she doesn’t work, her family would starve.

2. Sorry, just a personal preference, but I want a yaya who is not too pretty or sexy.

This is unacceptable for us — yayas who post sexy photos on Facebook.

This means that if the yayas post photos of herself showing off her legs, boobs or tattoos, I am no longer interested in them.

We live in an area where there are a lot of construction workers, traffic enforcers and security guards, all of which try to get in our yaya’s pants whenever possible, despite being married and having kids. That’s just the way it is.

Our previous yaya was fired because she was dating the married traffic enforcer in our area while on duty. I caught her the second time having tryst with the traffic enforcer in a darkened area before firing her.

Stories of the driver or the houseboy dating and impregnating the yayas are too common in their own good.

To make it safe for everyone, I choose yayas who are not that attractive. Just my personal preference, if her photo includes of her in a spaghetti strap, she’s off my list.

Yes, this applicant was applying to be a yaya in our household. She is way too pretty to be a yaya. 🙂

3. I hire people who are actually unemployed. Meaning, they are not looking of transferring employers while still employed with the others. I don’t hire yayas who are still employed with others. 

I had applicants who applied with me while still being employed with others. Their reason for switching?

• Higher salary which is understandable.
• Not liking their current employers because of (insert reason here).
• Complaining about their current work.
• The best? “I only stay here because I am merely tolerating my boss. In fact, I have wanted to switch ever since.”
• Gee… if you are like that to your current boss, then how will you be when you switch? Will you snitch on me too?
• Among other reasons…

There are cases when the complaints are valid. If you have been in a household for years and are still paid peanuts, YOU SHOULD LEAVE.

But on many cases, the complaints stem from a yaya who is unsatisfied with her lot. It is a red flag for me that this yaya has a tendency to complain despite knowing what she was getting into in the first place.

This is because salary, benefits and work conditions are usually disclosed to the yaya during interview. Before they start, a yaya should ask all questions necessary to ensure that they know what they are getting themselves in. In other words, Pinili mo yan (You chose your fate). Hence, you should barring extreme circumstances, enjoy your lot instead of endlessly complaining about it.

In my personal opinion, I prefer yayas who actually like the situation they bring themselves in. I don’t like yayas who keep on complaining about their situation especially since it was their choice to enter these situations in the first place.

A leopard never really changes her spots.

If they complain there, they will also complain once they are in my household. And I don’t want the peace in our household be destroyed because of one yaya’s discontent.

In addition, I also don’t choose these women who are still employed with others because of delicadeza. This means that just because I am in desperate need, I would pirate another person’s yaya and cause her misery in looking for a replacement.

There are still many applicants who need jobs out there. Would rather pick someone else than to harm another household because of my own dire need.

4. I hire yayas who are okay with my conditions namely:

1. Rest days two days (48 hours a month) a month: I do NOT agree if the yaya wants weekly rest days. Nothing wrong with weekly rest days, but having them leave every week is a hassle and a security risk for me. Please note that I pay for the two rest days not taken, which is in accordance with the Kasambahay Law.
2. No emergency rest days. We follow the schedule of two rest days per month. Anything above that is a no, except if someone died. Before hiring the yaya, I always ask them if they have their family affairs in order. I do not hire anyone who will disappear from work whenever there’s a family emergency because this means they are unreliable. I also like yayas who return on time from their rest days.
3. No cash advance or bale while under my employ: This is a big one. I have had yayas who backed out after hearing this rule. Bale or cash advance is a big problem in hiring Filipinos. Because they can’t budget their money properly, they always tend to borrow money from their employers, leaving them on a continuous cycle of indebtedness. I tell my yayas I will never lend them money. If someone dies in their family, I will give her family, but save on a death, I will not help out since I pay her a lot of money and on time.
4. No cellphone on duty hours: Many Filipinos cannot let go of their cellphones or Facebook. My rule indicates that they can only cellphone when my child is asleep. Many don’t like this.
5. They eat when we eat: We provide three meals and more a day, but I don’t like yayas who are more particular with food than we are.
6. They are okay with being an all around, which is already disclosed to in the ad. This means, I don’t like yayas who only want to take care of the kid and nothing else. Since I pay 50% more than minimum, I do want the yaya to also care about the general surroundings and do the laundry (via WASHING MACHINE) once the clothes need washing. I put this clause in because I don’t want our yaya to be maarte. 
7. No to padala pamasahe. With so many scammers in the Philippines, I don’t want to problematize about sending money to applicants who never plan to show up. If they want work, they will always find a way to come to you (I will reimburse the travel expense AFTER they arrive) with complete requirements.

These conditions already filter out many applicants. But since I only need one and they are joining my household, I would rather filter out those who are maarte, mareklamo and have many family issues instead of accepting them and then being disappointed later on.

5. I don’t hire yayas who don’t post their own faces on Facebook.

This is a photo of a Facebook applicant for yaya:

Lord help me if she really looks like that. She should be an actress, not a yaya.

If the yaya cannot be honest with who she is on social media, she may be hiding something, and I don’t want to consider yayas who don’t reveal anything about themselves.

6. I don’t hire yayas who frequently updates her status and post on Facebook. 

If I check their Facebook page and see that the yaya is always updating on Facebook, I don’t interview her anymore.

There are yayas who update their status every day, every half a day, with selfies and post about their random thoughts. This means, their phones are always by their side and they are very busy being active on social media.

Since one of my rules is to only use the cellphone during off duty or when the baby is sleeping, I don’t think hiring someone who is always on Facebook will work for us.

7. I also don’t like it when a yaya posts photos of herself and her alaga. Or photos of her in her employer’s house. 

It’s not her house or her kid. She should not post photos of what isn’t hers on social media. It’s not right, and in the Philippines, can be quite dangerous.

So when I see a yaya applicant posting her photo that features her employer’s house, child, car or belongings, I don’t even consider hiring her anymore.

8. I don’t hire yayas who have a bad record online.

I check out whether she has been blacklisted on other maids groups as a scammer or a maid with a bad record. I check her name out on Bad Maids PH Facebook group to see if she has been previously employed by someone before.

Checking online of their status have saved many employers a lot of future grief. For example, an agency referred to me a yaya who sounded decent on the phone. She was 4 years old, single, and was well experienced as a yaya.

Later, when checking online, someone gave me the feedback that not only does this yaya suffer from a bad attitude, she also had sexy photos of hers posted online!

These were her actual photos posted on Facebook for everyone to see!

My gosh, makati pala! Even I do not have the gall or strength to post a photo of myself on a swimsuit online, and here in an applicant who is open to showing on what she looks like to everyone who wishes to see.

And to those who are wondering, these are her real photos. Not Photoshopped. The agency said that these were her bikini photos from Boracay. Uhhhh….

Thank goodness for the Interet. If I didn’t ask for feedback, we would have ended up with a yaya who would give us many problems later on.

9. I hire yayas who have an acceptable record of leaving their previous employers properly. 

Many yayas, like mine, leave their employer without proper notice. Many simply go on a rest day and never come back, insisting that they left their employer because of (insert yaya reason here).

It doesn’t matter if the employer was masungit or abusive. What’s important is that the yaya leaves with grace, and with proper notice.

If they left an employer without giving a proper goodbye, they would do the same to me too. And given that I had been a victim of such yaya before, I do not want to have such experience repeated again.

Hence, I listen very closely when asking the question, “Why do you leave your previous employer?”

If they give me an answer that shows they are malabong kausap, then I move on to the next interviewee.

10. I only hire yayas who show WORD OF HONOR. They have to show up on the agreed schedule. They don’t lie on the interview. In short, they do what they say. 

My previous yaya told me that she didn’t even finish high school even though the yaya she was replacing was a college undergrad.

I appreciated the honesty and told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about. She turned out to be a pretty decent yaya for my daughter until she wasn’t.

I like yayas who tell you as it is. No lying, no twisting of the truth, no drama. One yaya told us that her first husband was dead, even though he wasn’t really. That was bad.

Since they are joining our household, we have to choose people who is similar like us. My husband says we like to surround our people who is not malabong kausap (which means we hate people who don’t do what they say).

Hence, we have declined the services of a yaya who keep on moving their starting date. Bago pa lang, ganun na. 

This was a yaya who didn’t show up as agreed because she claimed her son was sick. It would have been more believable if she didn’t text me the day before asking me to postpone her start date since her daughter wanted her to get her report card in school.

I didn’t take her anymore.

Sure, maybe it means having a yaya starting later, but at least, weeding out those who are unreliable will keep us more sane in the long run.

SUMMARY

Yes, it’s very hard to find a yaya in the Philippines. Even at a higher salary, I still experienced difficulty in finding a yaya myself. There is reason for agencies to exist. It’s not just to profit off employers, but to also save employers from the type of stress and frustration I’ve experienced this month.

Many employers have already given up from finding a suitable yaya for them.

The group that asks for referrals now number more than 1000 and yet, so many are left yaya-less. Many mothers choose to give up their jobs because they cannot find suitable help.

Personally, I can’t stand inactivity.

I don’t believe accepting my fate that I should be left yayaless since yaya left us last December. If I cannot find a yaya, I would have to take care of our child, and our business and my staff will suffer. Since we can afford a yaya, we should have one. Hence, not having a yaya is unacceptable for me.

So now, we have one. Zeny started just last Sunday, and she’s still alive as of today.

I hope she’s finally the yaya I am looking for. If not, we will look for someone else again.

Ahhhhh… that is life.

Anyway, hope my tips will help you find a yaya of your own. Good luck to all of us, and may the right yaya enter our employ.

 

 

Yaya Chronicles: The Search for a Good Yaya Continues

All of you know that I have been looking for a yaya (stay-in babysitter) ever since my old yaya didn’t come home for the holidays last December. 

While the experience has been very frustrating — we treated her like family, and she didn’t even have the decency to inform us she won’t be returning after we paid for her holiday — I decided to look at at the positive side of it, and rolled up my sleeves to find my daughter another yaya.

Since my yaya left last December, yayas were in short supply as many were also on extended holidays. Agencies couldn’t supply us with any, leaving us with no choice but to find one on our own. Here was my experience in looking for a yaya online.

The yaya I found during the first round only lasted 6 days.

On her sixth day, she texted me saying that her husband was in the hospital and she had to visit him as it might be an emergency. When she started, I made it clear that her first rest day would be after a month, so this request was already out of the ordinary.

As I have many experiences with the help, I knew this was a white lie and decided to simply let her go to her husband, with paid salary, packed bags and all. Here was my experience in handling this yaya.

My point is, despite my best efforts, it was really hard to find a reliable yaya in the Philippines.

Many yayas were malabong kausap: this meant that their words mean nothing. They will promise you the moon and the stars and will miserably fail.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The next yaya I found online was Tessie, 52 years old, who worked as a housemaid, nanny and caregiver abroad.

I interviewed her on January 4, and we agreed for her to start n January 8.

On January 8 morning, here was her text to me:

Long story short, she was backing out.

This was very annoying because it was done in the last minute. I had waited 4 days for a yaya who didn’t plan on showing up.

The next one I got was interviewed on January 14 (Tuesday). We confirmed to start on January 16 (Thursday) so that she can pack up and spend time with her kids.

On January 15, she asked me if she could start on January 21 (Monday) instead since she needed to get her daughter’s report card in school that Saturday.

I replied to her in Tagalog, “Can’t your husband get the report card? Because we already agreed that you will start on Thursday. It’s difficult if you keep on changing your mind.”

She told me that it was always her husband who gets it but her daughter has requested that she do it this time around. However, given that she had word of honor, she will still arrive as agreed on Thursday.

At 9:57am on Thursday, she sent me the following text complete with photos:

There we go — she can’t make it on Thursday because her son had a fever. If so, she will just start on Monday, which was her original revised request.

This was my answer, “Why are you looking for a job if your family affairs are still not in order? During my interview, you told me that your mother-in-law and husband are the ones who take care of your children so that you can work. Now, you are telling me that you have to be there for your son because your husband is MIA.”

I understand that she needed to work and she cannot leave them when they are sick. But the problem is not the child. I was okay with her taking care of the child if the children was said to be her priority during the interview. However, she already told me her children would not be a problem, even if they are.

The problem is that she had no word of honor. And I do not like to deal with people who were malabong kausap.

So I told her to take care of her kids and to just manage her household instead.

Ironically, on Monday, she texted me again saying she wanted to work for me.

No sirree…!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

After receiving disappointing news, I renewed my search for another yaya. This time, I found someone on Facebook once again.

Zeny was 50 year old, from Mindoro, and was an all around yaya. She served in a family of Manila for 4.5 years.

I talked to her on Thursday, January 15, the same time that Mitch backed out. And we agreed that she start on Sunday, January 20, evening.

Her daughter would buy her ticket from Mindoro to Manila, and she is to go direct to our condo.

We waited with abated breath. After frequent disappointments over Arlene, Tessie and Mitch, we had low expectations. If Zeny did not show up, we would not be too surprised anymore.

Surprisingly, she showed up at 6:30 am on Sunday, just as agreed.

So far, so good. It’s been at least a day, and she’s still here.

She is a bit quiet, but caring and seems serious about the job. I hope she’s already the One for us.

And if not, the search continues — Just this January, my daughter has had 3 yayas in quick succession. It is so depressing that it’s now amusing.

At the end of the day, if we need a yaya, we need a yaya. I will go through as many yayas as I can so that I can find someone to take care of my daughter.

Let’s hope that this is already the one we are looking for. 🙂

Additional: 10 Tips in Looking for a Yaya Online

 

 

Yaya Chronicles: White Lies in the Philippines

Our new yaya messaged me the following yesterday noon:

To translate: “Good morning Ma’m, I have an emergency. I need to go home for 24 hours because my husband was rushed to the hospital. I will finish the laundry and have my lunch, and will wait for your husband to wake up before I leave.”

She has been with us for 6 days.

To be fair, it was nice of her to calmly finish the laundry, have lunch, and wait for my husband to wake up before leaving. It wasn’t as if I was given a choice. But it was something that should be done since of course, her husband was rushed to the hospital and it was an emergency.

When I saw her, she was calm and she had her handbag ready.

All her stuff was in her room, so it sounds as if she just needed to visit her husband for 24 hours, then come back and resume her duties. Apparently, her husband suffered some chest pains and was rushed to the hospital.

For a wife who’s been happily married for 23 years with her husband in the hospital, she was surprisingly calm. In emergency cases like these, many women would be in tears, their hands shaking and struggling to form words asking for leave.

I sighed. After hiring so many women through the years, I knew what was up.

Most likely, it was her husband who wanted to see her to talk. She was a homemaker and has been out of the workplace for 10 years, so he probably missed her. She probably needed to go home, reassure him that this job was right for them, and then come back.

That’s why she had to see him after 6 days of employment, even though I was clear from the beginning what their leaves are.

I know this little white lies dance.

She’s telling a half truth, but not the whole truth, but didn’t want to confront me with the real story. Which is very normal here in the Philippines.

I talked to her about her husband issue and told her that it’s better for her just to take her things and her pay and to deal with her husband. At the very least, there is no samaan ng loob, and she doesn’t owe me and I not her.

My daughter starts school on Monday, but it doesn’t really matter. I would rather let her go to avoid any issues later on.

Her husband is an issue.

Her not prioritizing her work is an issue for me.

Her telling those white lies are an issue for me.

So I let her go. This was my text to her last night:

Translation: I thought about your question. No need to come back. Because your husband will always be a problem. Let’s just avoid issues like this while still early and while we are in good terms. Thanks for services rendered.

A bit harsh maybe.

But given the offer and our confidence on the type of employers we are, we don’t want a yaya who’s malabong kausap and has husband issues.

The good news is: I found another yaya today.

As they say, if you don’t succeed, try and try again.

Wish me luck that this one is better! 🙂

The search for a unicorn yaya for life lives on.

Questions to ask during yaya interview

I got a new yaya 2 days after the old yaya left.

I caught old yaya on Saturday, asked her to leave on Sunday, and interviewed and hired a new yaya on Tuesday. April 9 was a holiday so maybe that day doesn’t count. Still, it doesn’t hide the fact that I was blessed to find a new yaya quickly when many other mothers were still looking for one.

The last time I looked for a yaya, it took me half a day to find out. This time it took 2 days. I have been very blessed and lucky in finding maids so far.

As to why I can get a yaya so fast while others are still waiting?

1. I have a results oriented mindset.

If I need a yaya, I really NEED a yaya. I will not hee and haw about it anymore.

I will interview every candidate that comes my way regardless on who refers. I will go online and get my applicants on every Wanted Kasambahay facebook page.

My mother in law once told me, “Bonita, find a yaya who will not give me any problems. I don’t want a yaya who is mapili or maarte.”

She still has no yaya up until now.

2. I will hire on the spot.

After I set the interviews, I will talk to the yayas personally. I will tell them about the job and my rules. If they seem maarte or hesitant, I don’t hire them. But if they are okay with my policies, I hire on the spot.

No “Let me talk it other with my husband.”

If she is not okay, I pass. If she is okay, she starts that same day. That’s why recruiters love us. No wasting time.

3. I don’t scrimp on fees.

I paid more than php10,000 of agency fee from my last hire. I didn’t blink and complain that it was expensive. I paid for it after hiring yaya.

I didn’t pay minimum rates. I paid above minimum rates. The amount of money I pay yaya to take care of my child so I can work makes her worth her fee. So I don’t really have a lack of good options.

4. I’m actually a reasonable boss.

So when I lose a yaya, I don’t have a shortage of people to refer. They know that they won’t be embarrassed in linking us up. The last yaya stayed for a good 1.5 years and was able to get her eldest employed and got her two daughters to start schooling again. Not bad for someone who was kicked out of her house when she came in.

5. I’m open to agencies and recruiters.

They are my partners in finding a yaya. They help me find a yaya. I refer my friends to them when my friends are in need. So when I come a calling, they warmly welcome me.

I have compiled a list of questions to ask applicants this time around. I got my yaya on the first interview. Here are the questions I asked yaya during the interview. Hope it helps!

Questions in Tagalog because it’s catered for the yaya. These are some of the questions I used to interview:

SELF

• Love life and anak? Sino ang magaalaga?

• Anong kurso ang pinasok mo?

FRIENDS

• Inimbita ka ng kapwa mong yaya na kumain sa labas habang nasa school ang alaga, ano ang gagawin mo?

FAMILY AND BELIEFS

• Close sa tatay at nanay? Ano ang trabaho nila?

• Siblings? Ano ang trabaho nila?

• Anong pinaka importante na tinuro sa iyo ng magulang mo?

• Nagsisimba ka ba? Saan?

HOBBIES

• What do you like to read?

• Last book you read?

• Anong gagawin mo sa gabi pagkatapos ng trabaho?

PREVIOUS WORK

• Bakit ka umalis sa dati mong amo?

• What food she can prepare for my baby to eat?

Pag gising ang alaga, ano ang ginagawa with the kids?

• Alaga dati? How did they react nang paalis ka?

• Anong naturuan mo sa bata?

*Read one page article*

• Anong pinaka mahirap na experience mo sa buhay?

• Pinagsabihan ka ni lola? Papano na?

• May pinagawa sa iyo na hindi sa job description yon? Ano yon?

• Cellphone use: When pwede mag cellphone?

• Ok lang ba may cctv sa kwarto ng bata para masdan din sa gabi?

• Ok lang ba sa gabi mag mall?

• Pag may party at kasama ang bata, ok lang ba kasama ka din?

• May pagkain ka bang hindi kinakain?

• Anong trabaho ang hindi mo masyadong gawin? Laundry and ibon?

• Pinaka malaking halaga nakita mo or nahawakan mo?

• May kasama kang nagnakaw, ano ang gagawin mo? Paano mo siya isusumbong?

SAVINGS & FINANCIAL MINDSET

• Sapat na ba ang sahod na inaalok namin sa iyo? Kaya mo bang ibudget yan?

• Naka pagvale advance or utang ka? Ok lang sa iyo na hindi pwede dito?

• Magkano ang pinaka malaki mong nabili recently? Magkano po yon?

• Sahod mo: saan mo gagastusin?

DAYS OFF

• 2 days off monthly? If ever how you want to schedule?

• We cannot accumulate day off ok lang ba?

• Pag day off, saan ka pupunta? Pamilya, kaibigan?

• Give occasion na na late bumalik sa dayoff? Ano ang nangyari? Ano ang ginawa mo?

Bye Bye Yaya!

I decided to let go of yaya yesterday after catching her with her MMDA boyfriend last April 7.

On April 7, yaya asked for permission to go downstairs to buy snacks from MiniStop. This is not unusual for her so we allowed it. She went down at 12:30am.

At 1:00am, I was puzzled on why she hasn’t returned. I had a package in the lobby that I asked the guard to give to her so I found it weird that the package was not brought up yet. When I called the guard, he said she has yet to return.

Alarm bells were ringing then. What happened to her?

I went downstairs to look for her. The lobby guards pointed me to the direction she went to. Since I live in a business district, I looked for her at the nearby convenience store. She wasn’t anywhere!

I asked at the 7-Eleven staff close to our place if he saw yaya. He pointed me to the closed section of 7-Eleven on the second floor. I found yaya’s boyfriend sitting, while yaya hiding on the corner behind the chairs and tables.

Yaya and I went home.

When I asked her why she lied about going to Ministop and instead was meeting up with her boyfriend, she said, “It’s only this one time.”

It Actually Wasn’t the First Time

It was her second.

Last February, our yaya also sneaked out from our condo in the guise of going to MiniStop to buy load. On her way out, she told her BFF guard that in case we looked for her, to tell us that she is back in her room.

She was gone for 2.5 hours.

Another guard told us that he saw her riding her boyfriend’s bike close to our home. She insisted that she was only at 7-Eleven hanging out.

At that time, she was apologetic that she didn’t inform us properly where she went. “I promise I didn’t go out in a motorcycle,” she said. “While it was true that I was out for so long, I was only at 7-Eleven relaxing and thinking about my problems.”

Yes, the same 7-Eleven where I spotted her with her boyfriend the other day.

That’s not the only problem — when faced with the incident report, initially yaya denied it. She said that she wasn’t gone for that long. She was only gone for a short time, and she was reported falsely by the guard who had a crush on her.

However, after I told her that there was CCTV cameras recording, and if indeed the guard was lying, then we would fire him, that she recanted and reluctantly admitted that she was maybe gone for as long as reported.

So this was the second time she lied on top of the many white lies she made over the last few months. And this was our yaya, the woman we trust with our daughter. Who cannot help but sneak behind our back and constantly lie about her romance.

What’s worse, the man she is seeing doesn’t seem to dissuade her. I saw him the other night with her in uniform. He was on duty and he was on a date.

A man who doesn’t value his work is not a good influence. Who knows? He may be dating yaya to get to our daughter!

So we decided to let Yaya go.

It was a conversation I hated to make, but had to. And my heart was sad as I told her that I could not tolerate her many repeated lies, as my family do not tolerate liars in our household. And while she is efficient to her work, I do not like the fact that she lies without guilt, remorse or consideration.

If you were caught once, stop.

Our yaya had the gall to get caught, then do it again another time.

“This won’t be her last time,” my uncle warned. “This is already her sickness. She cannot stop lying.”

It doesn’t make it easier. This was someone we shared our home with for 1.5 years. Someone who saw us in our best and worst. Someone who have seen our daughter grow.

After our conversation, she packed all her clothes. There were 6 bags in all. How different was it when she first started when she didn’t even have shoes to wear, and her children were getting kicked out from their home because of rent non-payment.

I gave her what I could — some makeup, a small sack of rice, books for her daughter who recently celebrated her birthday.

“I will call a taxi because I have a lot of things,” she said.

I gave her Php 500 for the taxi, not because I felt guilty, but rather, a consideration for all the stuff she had to bring with her.

As she left, she hugged and kissed my daughter. “Be good and listen to your mother,” she said.

She then went out to call a taxi. I asked her if she wanted to join us for dinner but she declined. “I don’t want to get home late,” she said.

My daughter and I ate dinner then worked at the office.

Almost 3 hours later, we came back.

We saw her stuff still in our condominium lobby, and her coming back. Apparently, instead of calling a taxi, she went to the mall and had a date with her boyfriend. When the mall closed, she came back, towing her boyfriend who will take her someplace else.

I feel a bit vindicated for booting her out. Up to the very last end, she still lied. She didn’t call a taxi. She went out for a date with her boyfriend. I think I feel more sad about her departure than her.

The next day, I found out that the boyfriend was apparently married with a pregnant wife.

This was after she chided our driver for going after a woman despite having a wife who was pregnant last year. “I would never do what she did,” she said about the mistress. “May asawa pa, pinatulan pa!” (Even with a wife, she would still go for him).

Lies, lies and even more lies.

So yes, maybe it’s time for her to go. The Lord truly has been watching over us. I thank my lucky stars I caught her and her boyfriend, and while it’s burdensome to take care of our child, well… that’s our role anyway as parents.

Hope you have a good week ahead!